Archive for February, 2011

How the Little Red Riding Hood Tale Is Told in Brooklyn

Young slacker: I lost my grandmother today.
Young psychotic friend: Oh, don't worry, she will come back soon, if she has no car.
Young slacker: She's dead, asshole!
Young psychotic friend: Oh. I'm really sorry, it's true.
Young slacker: Don't worry, it was funny.
Young psychotic friend: Okay.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Athanagore Crumb


…Unless You're Prepared to Fight Him

Young child to mother, about irritated customer: Mommy, is that guy a dumb-ass?
Mother: Yes, darling, he is, but that's not a polite thing to say.

–62nd & 1st

Overheard by: Vega


Ricardo Makes a Splash Wherever He Goes.

Guy sitting on bar stool: What about Titanic? Titanic? Did you like Titanic?
Mexican waiter: Titanic?
Guy sitting on bar stool: Yes, Titanic.
Mexican waiter: I don't know. I don't like fish.

–The Flame Diner, 58th & Columbus

Overheard by: Tracy


Wasn't That You?

Student #1: Christian Bale lost like 60 lbs, for The Machinist, then he he gained it back again for Batman. Now he lost it all again for The Fighter. I'm actually legitimately afraid of him; He's crazy.
Student #2: Remember when he got in trouble for that alleged domestic dispute against his mother?
Student #1: Remember when he flipped out on that DP on the Terminator set?
Student #2: Remember when he almost fed that kitten into an ATM?

–Columbia University


Just Remember to Grasp the Stem Firmly

Hobo to student with flowers: Hey kid, these are for whom?
Student: For me, actually. They are so pretty.
Hobo: That's right! Good for you. First: do not give to humans, they suck! Second: to give flowers is like masturbation: it's better when you give to yourself!

–F Train