Fat black woman going down the stairs to skinny white teen: It's called going up one side, fucking idiot.
Skinny white teen: It's called a diet. Try it some time.
–86th St & Lexington
Overheard by: RunAwayComebacks
Archive for March, 2011
Is This Racist? Discuss.
Thug, bumping into suit rushing up the escalator: Watch where you going, nigga!
Suit: Now there's the pot calling the kettle black!
–Lexington & 53rd St
You're On, My Friend
Extremely loud guy with group of friends: If you feed a chicken some chicken, it's called forced cannibalism and is technically animal cruelty.
Taller, quieter guy: Why is it animal cruelty?
Extremely loud guy: If a species eats its own species, it will get something called a prion disease. It's a degenerative brain thing most often, that's where mad cow disease came from. It's also why you're not supposed to eat people. It's not just because it'd be a dick move, you'd go crazy and probably eat more people. By the way, if you ever kill someone and want to kind of get away with it, eat them. You'll get off on an insanity plea because of the prion disease.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Jessica
Further Evidence That Brooklyn Is Over
Old white woman #1: Brooklyn is meant to be pretty cool these days…
Old white woman #2: It would seem so!
–Starbucks, Spring & Crosby
Figures That the Chicken Lady Went to Barnard
Barnard girl #1: No, if he gave birth to babies, he's not a man.
Barnard girl #2: Yes he is! He identifies as a man!
Barnard girl #1: I can identify as whatever the hell I want, that doesn't make it true. Watch. I'm a chicken. Poof! See? It didn't work.
–116th St
Overheard by: Barnard Bear
Right Up My Broadway, Sweetie
Hipster theater chick: Seriously, I have like the best vagina of anyone I know. I have the Idina Menzel of vaginas.
Hipster chick's friend: What does that even mean?
Hipster theater chick: You know Idina Menzel. Big lips, big mouth, sings like she's having an orgasm. That's my vagina. It's called “Idina.”
Hipster chick's friend: Isn't she the one who played The Green Witch? So your vagina's green?
Hipster theater chick: Shut up. It's not green. It's the Broadway of vaginas, I tell you!
Hipster chick's friend: Who names their vagina after a green witch? You're so fucked up..
–American Airlines Theater
Overheard by: Hannah
See, This Is Why You're in Advanced Placement Classes.
Girl #1: My dad's Facebook picture is of my sister's dog, so whenever he calls me, a photo of the dog shows up and I always want to be like “Rah! Woof!” when I answer it.
Girl #2: You should make the ringtone a dog barking! So it's like it's real that the dog is calling you!
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Katherine
You Can't Even Get Accepted Here If You Don't Interview in a Cape.
Teacher to FIT student: You know Halloween is over, right?
Artistically-clad FIT student: You know you chose to teach in the wrong school if you're commenting on my outfit, right?
–FIT
So the Loser Gets Her
8th grader #1, pointing to girl next to him: Let's have a rap battle about her!
8th grader #2: No! She's too ugly!
–L Train
Overheard by: Brett
Um, Star?
Girl #1: Yeah, the building's pre-war.
Girl #2, deadpan: Which war?
–Soho