Archive for March, 2011

After a Day Of Dealing with Park Slope Kids, We'd Be Snotty Too.

Woman: Excuse me, do you have any Indian princess costumes?
Clerk, with super snotty tone: All of our Native American costumes are over there.
Woman: But do you have any Indian princess costumes?
Clerk: These are all of our Native American costumes.
Woman: You don't have any Indian costumes?
Clerk: Do you mean Indian from India?
Woman: Yes.
Clerk: Oh. Well, those are over here.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: elainemonkey

How'd You Know?

Hippie chick: After choir, I'm going downtown for a five rhythms meeting.
Sleepy woman: Huh?
Hippie chick: Five rhythms. It's like dance meditation.
Sleepy woman: Free your mind, and the rest will follow? That kinda shit?
Hippie chick: Yup. The rhythms are flowing, staccato, lyrical, chaos and stillness.
Sleepy woman: And with your powers combined, you make captain planet?

–A Train

Girls from Jersey Should Not Dare Throw Stones.

Coffee shop girl: So where do you live?
Coffee shop guy: Oh… Uh… East…
Coffee shop girl: Don't you dare say you live in East Williamsburg. You live in fucking Bushwick.

–Hick & Union, Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: i love this girl.

Ad: At the Philharmonic, No One Can Hear You Snore

Wife: Did you hear it while you were sleeping?
Husband: Nope. Dreamland.
Wife: Ah… Out for the count, eh?
Husband: Yeah, but I loved it! It was great. I sleep here like I sleep nowhere else…

–Avery Fisher Hall, after NYPhil Concert

What With My Dad Breastfeeding Me

Girl #1: There was never any time I wasn't kissing guys.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1:  I mean I've been flirting and dating and making out with guys since like, I was an infant.

–NJ Transit

Oh, Leave Renee Zellweger Alone!

Woman boarding bus to the driver: Are you Asian?
Obviously Asian driver, not understanding: No.
Woman: Oh, okay. (gets on)

–FangWah Bus, Chinatown

Overheard by: Aly

Raise Your Hand If You'd Give Them Their Own Reality Show.

Man: Don't worry about what I've got in my pocket, worry about what's in your pocket. I see you've got nothing on your back.
Woman: Betsey Johnson! I got Betsey Johnson on my back! $350 dollar jacket, motherfucker, you were 78th in your high school class, get a GED!

–Douglass Houses

But How Would a Dog Tell the Truth, Anyway?

Young dude #1: What is it they say about sleeping dogs?
Young dude #2: That you should let them lie.
Young dude #1: No, I think it was something else…
Young dude #2: Like what? What else does a sleeping dog *do*?
Young dude #1: Yeah… I can see your point. But what does that saying mean?
Young dude #2: It means: don't do whatever fucked-up thing you were thinking of doing.

–3 Train

How About a Big Kiss?

Starbucks cashier: Just to let you know, we don't have any coffee today.
Dude, confused: What do you have?


…According to Our Family Chore Board.

Dad to whining kids: Kids, you need to lay off the whining. If anyone is going to be whining today, it's going to be daddy.

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Jennifer, an amused passerby