Archive for March, 2011

Tonight on BallBusters

Guido: I want to see if I can kick his balls through his hat.
Girl: Through his hat?
Guido: Yeah, they'd have to go through his brain and skull first, though.
Guy #1: I'm pretty sure they'd get stuck like halfway through his abdomen.
Guy #2: They'd probably burst, actually.

–A Train

Overheard by: Brian

On the Plus Side, You Know How to Divide Your Legs.

Girl #1: How do you find the area of a triangle again?
Girl #2: Add the bottom and top sides and multiply the sum by the height. Then divide everything by two.
Girl #1: Oh yeah! I can't believe I forgot that, I'm so stupid. Thanks!

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Celia Kim

Ms. Potter Is Kiln Herself

Indie guy #1: Yeah, man, the lady in the computer lab at school is weird.
Indie guy #2: How so?
Indie guy #1: She told me she hasn't been to sleep in two days… And her eyebrows were singed.

–Central Park

The Man Says What We're All Thinking

PA announcement: The MTA would like to remind you that if you see something, say something.
MTA employee, muttering to self: If you see somethin, say nothin', then run like hell.

–Penn Station

After a Day Of Dealing with Park Slope Kids, We'd Be Snotty Too.

Woman: Excuse me, do you have any Indian princess costumes?
Clerk, with super snotty tone: All of our Native American costumes are over there.
Woman: But do you have any Indian princess costumes?
Clerk: These are all of our Native American costumes.
Woman: You don't have any Indian costumes?
Clerk: Do you mean Indian from India?
Woman: Yes.
Clerk: Oh. Well, those are over here.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: elainemonkey

Ah, Young Love.

Burly man #1: Are we going to have sex tonight?
Burly man #2: I mean, we can have sex tonight if you want.
Burly man #1: Are you sure? I really need to know now if we're having sex tonight.
Burly man #2: Okay, okay, yes: we're having sex tonight.
(burly man #1 pops a pill)

–LaGuardia Airport

Hath Not a Pacino Eyes?

Impatient husband, in line after seeing The Merchant of Venice: Why do you have to wait to see him from across the street? You were just sitting ten feet in front of him for two hours!
Starstruck wife: That was different. Inside he was just a Jew. When he comes out he'll be Al Pacino.

–44th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Big Larry

How'd You Know?

Hippie chick: After choir, I'm going downtown for a five rhythms meeting.
Sleepy woman: Huh?
Hippie chick: Five rhythms. It's like dance meditation.
Sleepy woman: Free your mind, and the rest will follow? That kinda shit?
Hippie chick: Yup. The rhythms are flowing, staccato, lyrical, chaos and stillness.
Sleepy woman: And with your powers combined, you make captain planet?

–A Train

Girls from Jersey Should Not Dare Throw Stones.

Coffee shop girl: So where do you live?
Coffee shop guy: Oh… Uh… East…
Coffee shop girl: Don't you dare say you live in East Williamsburg. You live in fucking Bushwick.

–Hick & Union, Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: i love this girl.

…If You're a 6

Guy#1: Honey, you don't have to be gay to suck my dick.
Guy#2: No, but it helps.

–42nd St & Broadway