Archive for April, 2011

All the Best-Looking Ones Are Either Wednesdays or One-Liners

Guy on phone: Where is he? What? He's dead? He died? What? He's gay? I though you said that he died! Everyone knows he's gay! Are you crying because he's gay-gay?

–Q Train

Overheard by: Claire

Girl: She's so far in the closet she can see Narnia.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

30-something Asian girl to friend: Actually, Mardi Gras is for gays as well, right?

–3rd Ave & 13th St

Male dancer to two female dancers: I feel like I've brought down the mood. How about this? I'm gay and you're fabulous. Is that better?

–13th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Morgan

NYPD officer: I wanna fuck a gay guy.

–Times Square


A Tall Drink O' Wedneday One-Liner

Man on cell: I started Jamba Juice night, and I can end it!

–GMHC Building

Guy on cell: What about poison? Clear poison? Mix a little in her Diet Coke.

–Central Park

Male barista to another: Girrrl, I just had two Red Bulls. Do you see how big my eyes are right now? I'm messed up!

–Starbucks

Fireman leaving Duane Reade holding soda: Don't buy soda in there, it's really expensive.

–Broadway & 103rd St

Teenage guy, walking in store with two pet snakes wrapped around his shoulders: I want a snake-a-lotta! (everyone ignores him, and he walks out)

–The Bronx


Just Wait 'til They Learn to Send Pictures.

Teen girl #1: Grandparents should not send text messages. What does that even say?
Teen girl #2, reading message: I'm guessing that word there means 'vodka.' Wait, what?

–2nd Ave & 34th Street


A Brush with Greatness

Teenage boy #1: So I heard you touched Squish's boob…
Teenage boy #2: Not on purpose.
Teenage boy #1: Whoa, there!
Teenage boy #2: I tripped over my foot and my hand just happened to be there. It was more like a boob to hand high five.
Teenage boy #1: Way to go, man!

–72nd St & 2nd Ave


Does This Sound Like Your Mother? (It Sounds Like Ours)

Daughter: Everyone else is crossing the street. Why can't we?
Mother: See that car coming? It's not going to stop, and all these people are going to get run over and die.

–Broadway & 34th St

Overheard by: the kid that got run over


And the Turban Is Supposed to Be Ironic!

Large black man on Bluetooth to androgynous hipster reading book: Yo! Now don't you go readin' about Al Qaeda, man!
Androgynous hipster, removing big headphones: Hmm? Who, me?
Large black man on Bluetooth: Yeah, you. You fucking terrorist, readin' Al Qaeda.
Androgynous hipster, showing him the cover: What the fuck, dude, this book is about vegetarianism!
Large black man on Bluetooth: Psh. Saaaaaame shit. Same fuckin shit.

–43rd & 8th

Overheard by: Jae Y


Hot Shits Rarely Do

Suit #1: He's totally on another level, you know what I mean?
Suit #2: You mean he doesn't give a shit?
Suit #1: Yeah!

–Lexington & 45th St

Overheard by: Laurie