Archive for April, 2011

All the Best-Looking Ones Are Either Wednesdays or One-Liners

Guy on phone: Where is he? What? He's dead? He died? What? He's gay? I though you said that he died! Everyone knows he's gay! Are you crying because he's gay-gay? –Q Train Overheard by: Claire Girl: She's so far in the closet she can see Narnia. –Bard High School, Queens Overheard by: Sunny 30-something Asian girl to friend: Actually, Mardi Gras is for gays as well, right? –3rd Ave & 13th St Male dancer to two female dancers: I feel like I've brought down the mood. How about this? I'm gay and you're fabulous. Is that better? –13th St & Broadway Overheard by: Morgan NYPD officer: I wanna fuck a gay guy. –Times Square

A Tall Drink O' Wedneday One-Liner

Man on cell: I started Jamba Juice night, and I can end it! –GMHC Building Guy on cell: What about poison? Clear poison? Mix a little in her Diet Coke. –Central Park Male barista to another: Girrrl, I just had two Red Bulls. Do you see how big my eyes are right now? I'm messed up! –Starbucks Fireman leaving Duane Reade holding soda: Don't buy soda in there, it's really expensive. –Broadway & 103rd St Teenage guy, walking in store with two pet snakes wrapped around his shoulders: I want a snake-a-lotta! (everyone ignores him, and he walks out) –The Bronx

Just Wait 'til They Learn to Send Pictures.

Teen girl #1: Grandparents should not send text messages. What does that even say?
Teen girl #2, reading message: I'm guessing that word there means 'vodka.' Wait, what? –2nd Ave & 34th Street

Does This Sound Like Your Mother? (It Sounds Like Ours)

Daughter: Everyone else is crossing the street. Why can't we?
Mother: See that car coming? It's not going to stop, and all these people are going to get run over and die. –Broadway & 34th St Overheard by: the kid that got run over

And the Turban Is Supposed to Be Ironic!

Large black man on Bluetooth to androgynous hipster reading book: Yo! Now don't you go readin' about Al Qaeda, man!
Androgynous hipster, removing big headphones: Hmm? Who, me?
Large black man on Bluetooth: Yeah, you. You fucking terrorist, readin' Al Qaeda.
Androgynous hipster, showing him the cover: What the fuck, dude, this book is about vegetarianism!
Large black man on Bluetooth: Psh. Saaaaaame shit. Same fuckin shit. –43rd & 8th Overheard by: Jae Y

Hot Shits Rarely Do

Suit #1: He's totally on another level, you know what I mean?
Suit #2: You mean he doesn't give a shit?
Suit #1: Yeah! –Lexington & 45th St Overheard by: Laurie

Don't You Want to Play Let's You and Him Fight?

Girl #1: I'm saving that seat for my boyfriend. He's right behind you.
Guy: There's another seat right there.
Girl #1: But it's for my boyfriend! Don't sit there!
Guy: Well, I'm not moving.
Girl #1: I can't believe you. Move!
Guy: No.
Guy's girlfriend: He hurt his ankle earlier.
Girl #1: I can't believe you wouldn't move.
Guy: Don't be a bitch.
Girl #1: Real gentlemanly! (to boyfriend) Why didn't you defend me when he called me a bitch?!
Girl #1's boyfriend: (silence) –Uptown A Train Overheard by: Alex