Archive for April, 2011

And the Turban Is Supposed to Be Ironic!

Large black man on Bluetooth to androgynous hipster reading book: Yo! Now don't you go readin' about Al Qaeda, man!
Androgynous hipster, removing big headphones: Hmm? Who, me?
Large black man on Bluetooth: Yeah, you. You fucking terrorist, readin' Al Qaeda.
Androgynous hipster, showing him the cover: What the fuck, dude, this book is about vegetarianism!
Large black man on Bluetooth: Psh. Saaaaaame shit. Same fuckin shit.

–43rd & 8th

Overheard by: Jae Y

Hot Shits Rarely Do

Suit #1: He's totally on another level, you know what I mean?
Suit #2: You mean he doesn't give a shit?
Suit #1: Yeah!

–Lexington & 45th St

Overheard by: Laurie

Don't You Want to Play Let's You and Him Fight?

Girl #1: I'm saving that seat for my boyfriend. He's right behind you.
Guy: There's another seat right there.
Girl #1: But it's for my boyfriend! Don't sit there!
Guy: Well, I'm not moving.
Girl #1: I can't believe you. Move!
Guy: No.
Guy's girlfriend: He hurt his ankle earlier.
Girl #1: I can't believe you wouldn't move.
Guy: Don't be a bitch.
Girl #1: Real gentlemanly! (to boyfriend) Why didn't you defend me when he called me a bitch?!
Girl #1's boyfriend: (silence)

–Uptown A Train

Overheard by: Alex

It Goes Great with My Stuffing.

Hipster, flapping arms: I make the turkey noise when I ejaculate! I make the turkey noise! Oh-gobble gobble gobble!

–Bushwick & Grand

Jesus Has His Reasons

Bro #1: Have you tasted that guy's blood? He's like drunk all the time.
Bro #2: Yeah…

–E 85th St & Lexington

Overheard by: rastapasta