Girl: What? I have one roller derby class and now I am a lesbian?
Guy: Yes.
–Court & Joralemon
Overheard by: Sam
Archive for May, 2011
I'm Married to a Red Hooker
Middle-aged intoxicated white male #1: You've heard of Canal Street, but have you ever heard of Gowanus Canal Street?
Middle-aged intoxicated white male #2: Duh, I've lived here twenty years.
–Atlantic Ave & Smith St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mary
What She Did Was Clay Modeling
20-something guy to friend: You're girlfriend's a model? Nice! (pause) My girlfriend did modeling once.
20-something friend: Yeah?
20-something guy: Yeah. She was too short, though.
–Prince St, Soho
Overheard by: Katherine
Gosh, You're Deep.
Girl: It's so strange. This is nothing like Chicago.
Guy: I know. It's New York.
–East 6th St & 1st Ave
Gay Men Have No Idea How to Dress Straight
Woman to friend: He wants to wear black pants.
Friend: That's stupid.
Woman: And a navy jacket.
Friend: No, no, that's awful. Woman! Oh… okay.
–Chelsea
What Really Happened to Little Michael Jackson.
Child in elevator: I wanna press the button.
Mother: I'll let you press it on the way down.
Child: No, I wanna do it now! No, I wanna do it now!
Mother: I'm gonna beat the black off you if you don't shut the fuck up!
Child: (silence)
–Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mimic
See the Three Magi Trapped in Carbonite?
Girl looking at bar chalkboard: Is that a Christmas Darth Vader?
Nerdy friend: Well, actually it's a Christmas Boba Fett.
–1st Ave & 1st St
I Thought That Was, Like, a Sexual Thing?
Guy #1: If I were The Joker my best pick-up line would be “lets put a smile on that face.”
Guy #2: Or “why so serious?”
Guy #3: How about “wanna see me make this pencil disappear?”
Girl #1: Poor Joker… That's why he wanted to kill everybody.
–N Train
Overheard by: A&Z
…the Literature!
Drunk college dude #1: We're in college! And we're drunk! So let's get some Mexican!
Drunk college dude #2: Yeah, not the food though!
–12th & 3rd Ave
This Was the Moment They Fell in Love.
Girl: Do you know how to drive a stick?
Boy: Nah, I learned when I was wasted.
Girl: Me too! Spring break senior year. My friend's Mustang. Don't remember…
–Downtown 4 Train