Archive for May, 2011

Haha! Just Kidding! The Key Is Lost!

Husky man with gray beard: Can I have the bathroom key, please?
Foreign cashier attendant: Youahaftabuz.
Husky man with gray beard: What?
Foreign cashier attendant: Youahaftabuz.
Husky man with gray beard: Are you saying I have to buy something?
(foreign cashier attendant shakes head)
Husky man with gray beard
: That's cruel! Almost inhumane! (grabs soda from cooler)

–Washington Square South

Silly Boy, We're Swedenborgians

Stoner #1, interrupting conversation between two girls: Are you guys even speaking English?
Girl #1: Um, yes we are?
Girl #2: Why?
Stoner #1: It sounded like Swedish!
Stoner #2: They're Dennmarkians, you idiot!
(girls burst into laughter)

–Central Park Swings

Overheard by: I just wanted to swing..

How English Is Spoken in New York.

Tourist to Asian girl: Can you tell me how to get to…
Asian girl, in Chinese: I don't speak English, don't ask me.
Tourist: (looks confusedly at the English paperback the girl is reading)

–N Train

Overheard by: Jessie

“Dear Diary– I Talked to a Girl Today!”

Girl, coughing with hand on mouth: Cough, cough, cough.
Crazy Downtown Alliance worker, coughing on her and screaming: This ain't no posh street, I get people coughing on me all day long! Shit, I don't need this. I'm going to sweep this street and then I'm going to cough on all y'all.

–Broadway & Maiden Lane

That's Music to My Ears!

Girl sitting with trombone case: Do you think 1 pm is too early to start drinking?
Girl sitting with bassoon case: Well, it's technically afternoon, which is pretty much evening…
Trombone girl: Which is exactly like nighttime. So really, I should have started drinking earlier!
Bassoon girl: That's the conclusion logic should lead you to.

–Riverside Park

Overheard by: Already Trashed

…In What City?

Man: What is the real, actual name for the 52nd Street bridge?
Woman: There is no 52nd Street bridge.
Man: Yes, there is! But, it has a real name as well.
Woman: Where the hell is this bridge?
Man: 52nd Street!
Woman: Oh.

–Spring Street

Laugh While You Can.

Black woman, pointing at Asian girl: Oh my god! Look, this bitch be Korean! How you doing? Ni hao ma?
Girl, in Korean: Dumb Americans.

–Korea Town