Archive for May, 2011

That's Music to My Ears!

Girl sitting with trombone case: Do you think 1 pm is too early to start drinking?
Girl sitting with bassoon case: Well, it's technically afternoon, which is pretty much evening…
Trombone girl: Which is exactly like nighttime. So really, I should have started drinking earlier!
Bassoon girl: That's the conclusion logic should lead you to. –Riverside Park Overheard by: Already Trashed


…In What City?

Man: What is the real, actual name for the 52nd Street bridge?
Woman: There is no 52nd Street bridge.
Man: Yes, there is! But, it has a real name as well.
Woman: Where the hell is this bridge?
Man: 52nd Street!
Woman: Oh. –Spring Street


Laugh While You Can.

Black woman, pointing at Asian girl: Oh my god! Look, this bitch be Korean! How you doing? Ni hao ma?
Girl, in Korean: Dumb Americans. –Korea Town


If You Think It's a Tamagotchi, You Don't Know Dick.

Laughing 9th grader #1, looking at sketch drawn on iPhone: I'm guessing it's a penis.
Laughing 9th grader #2: No, it's much more creative than a penis. Oh my god, I can never look a a Tamagotchi the same again. –Hunter College High School


Sorry, My Liberal Guilt Button Is Disabled

Black guy on street with CDs: Here, have a copy of my CD.
Unsuspecting tourists: No, thanks.
Black guy on street with CDs: What, you don't like niggas? –Times Square


Exactly.

NYU girl #1: (absentmindedly playing with necklace chains)
NYU girl #2, bitchily: You know, if I didn't know better I'd think you were my stoner roommate.
NYU girl #1: Huh? –Urban Outfitters, 2nd Ave


Turns Out It Was Birds.

Wife, listening to beeping cars: What is all that beeping? God, it's so loud!
Husband: Bitch, you're in New York City! It's a fucking car! What do you think it is? –Times Square Overheard by: Defran


Exactly.

Girl #1, about beta fish in tank: That fish is pretty badass.
Girl #2: Let's name it “Bamf.” King Bamf.
Girl #1: How about “King Bitchmaster”?
Girl #3: How about you let me name my own fish?
Girl #1: How about I feed it cheeseburgers when you're not around?
Girl #3: Wait… What the fuck? –Union Square


Cabbage Patch Dolls Say That Shit to Each Other All the Time.

Stony Brook student: And then two nights ago, he shaved off his eyebrows.
Fordham student: What? Why? Was he drunk?
Stony Brook student: No, he was sober.
Fordham student: Then why?
Stony Brook student: Because he is retarded. There is no reason for one to shave off one's eyebrows other than being retarded. And I was like, “What the fuck? You epileptic piece of shit! You've got no fucking eyebrows!” –Lincoln Center