Archive for June, 2011

Tomorrow's Lesson: IHOP

Guy pointing at the new Yankee stadium: There it is, the house that Jeter built!
Stupid girlfriend: That's a house!?

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: JoZac21


Next: “What's Your Cup Size?”

60-something woman #1, to friend, after ordering coffee: Would you like a coffee?
60-something woman #2: No, I have three cups of tea every morning. With milk.
60-something woman #1: Are you a tea drinker?
60-something woman #2: No.

–84th St & Madison Ave


…According to the Latest Polling Results on My Webpage.

Woman: Bitch, why you up on my bag?
Girl: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to step there.
Guy #1: It was an accident! Leave her alone!
Woman: Motherfucker! This ain't none of your damn business.
Guy #2: Maybe if your big black ass wasn't in the way…
Woman: Fuck all three of you! And yes, my black ass is big, and it's beautiful.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Asizzzle


It's Just As Boring, but Has No Singing

Junior #1: Are you gonna audition for Guys and Dolls?
Junior #2: Meh, that musical's not for me, I'm really not into the whole “Cuba” thing.
Junior #3: But, it's not all in Cuba…
Junior #2: It's also cause I have a really hard time throwing dice well, and I heard that's a big part of it.
Junior #1: That's why I always win at Monopoly.
Junior #3: What where we talking about?
Junior #2: Monopoly.

–LaGuardia High School

Overheard by: Taylor


She's Been Nervous Ever Since Gomorrah

Ambiguous-looking woman: So she says she'll go out of state this summer because the neighborhood block parties bother her.
Preppy black man, rolling his eyes: What?!? Everything annoys this woman. Isn't her birthday today? Isn't she, like, three million years old? The Big Bang probably bothered this chick, or even a dinosaur tail hitting the ground. Doesn't she always smell bad, too? I bet god was like, “soapeth!” Geez!

–Jamaica, Queens


Weird– Who Wears Jean Shorts?

Gay undergrad #1: So, they were having loud sex, and I was making a pair of jean shorts out of jeans in the kitchen, in my underwear, rocking out to Michael Jackson.
Gay undergrad #2: You know, to cover the noise.

–7th Ave & Greenwich St.

Overheard by: Honey Badger MA, MPhil, Phd