Archive for July, 2011

Hey, That's “Lady Boy” to You!

Male clerk to short-haired female customer: Five dollars, sir.
Female customer, cheerfully: Thank you, madam! –Grand Central Station Overheard by: Sunissa

It Was Band Jacket Day in Manhattan

Teenage tourist girl in school band jacket: I love New York!
Teenage tourist boy in school band jacket: And the best part is we don't even look like tourists!
Teenage tourist girl in school band jacket: I know, right? Where's the subway?
Teenage tourist boy in school band jacket, glancing around: That way. (points toward 7th Ave) –35th St & Broadway Overheard by: Katarina

…Just Like It Says in the New New Testament.

Crazy preacher: And so, you should praise the name of Jesus!
Young African American girl: Amen!
Crazy preacher: You should say blessings and not curses!
Young African American girl: I said 'amen,' you fucker! –Port Authority Overheard by: Uri Fintzy

Eh, Mickey's Pretty White-Bread

Middle-aged Italian man #1: They got ketchup on wundabread in dea.
Middle-aged Italian man#2: Dat's a pizza even the mice wud send back! –Lexington & 45th Overheard by: Marianne Maguire

Nobody Even Tries to Talk on IPhones Anymore

Ghetto fab black girl: Hey, can we see that pic you just took?
Ghetto fab Latina, sitting across: No, bitch.
Ghetto fab black girl: How about you come over to our side? Sit over here!
Ghetto fab Latina, getting up and walking away: How 'bout you eat my butt? –4 Train Overheard by: CMK

Wednesimian One-Liners

Suit on phone: So the asshole is chewing me out and I said "Well, don't blame me! The monkey's butt was red when I got there!" Well, that shut him up, cause he knew I was talkin about him… –Columbia Overheard by: Smileythedog Husband to wife, about towel with monkey design: That's a culturally biased rag, because it has monkeys on it. –Target, Gateway Center Overheard by: Scott Hutchins Raspy hobo: Hey sweetheart, whatchya got in dat bag? A baby gorilla? –Washington Square Overheard by: Lisa Excited little boy to dad: He looked like a huge gorilla with slimy skin, and he had a salamander face on his fingers! –DeKalb Avenue, Brooklyn Overheard by: Morning Glory Girl: Just stop. Stop! Enough with the fucking monkeys! –Khyber Pass Restaurant, St. Mark's Place

Wednesday One-Liners, As Seen on Lost

Drunk blonde girl on cell: I'm here! I'm here! I don't know where I am! –St. Marks Place Overheard by: Kristin Guy on cell: I'm coming up Bedford, and… I don't know, on the corner of Bedford and Jews. –Bedford & Heyward High school boy on cell: Where am I at? I'm in morning… Uh, morning wood park. –Morningside Park Overheard by: wirehead Teenage girl on cell: I don't know where I am … I'm just here! –Sheridan Square

The Hills Are Alive with the Sounds Of Wednesday One-Liners…

Cheerful guy, singing: Oh, the shaaaaake shack is a little old place where we can… get a burger… –Madison Square Overheard by: Rose Fox Stoned man with ukulele, to the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody": Father… just killed my mom, put a gun against her head, pulled my trigger now she's dead… –72nd St & CPW Overheard by: stepping away from the platform edge Little boy, singing out Jewish day school bus window: Oy-oy-oy-oy-oy-yoi-yoi! Oy-oy-oy-oy-yoi! –76th St & West End Avenue Overheard by: Suze V Guy to friend, about Alicia Keys/Jay-Z song: That's not how that song goes! She doesn't sing: "concrete jungle with green tomatoes"! –Grand Central Station Overheard by: M. Man walking down street, singing loudly: She's a maniac, maniac, my love. And she's dancing like she did when she was four. –East Harlem Overheard by: Sisk of China