Archive for July, 2011

Hey, That's “Lady Boy” to You!

Male clerk to short-haired female customer: Five dollars, sir.
Female customer, cheerfully: Thank you, madam!

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: Sunissa

It Was Band Jacket Day in Manhattan

Teenage tourist girl in school band jacket: I love New York!
Teenage tourist boy in school band jacket: And the best part is we don't even look like tourists!
Teenage tourist girl in school band jacket: I know, right? Where's the subway?
Teenage tourist boy in school band jacket, glancing around: That way. (points toward 7th Ave)

–35th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Katarina

…Just Like It Says in the New New Testament.

Crazy preacher: And so, you should praise the name of Jesus!
Young African American girl: Amen!
Crazy preacher: You should say blessings and not curses!
Young African American girl: I said 'amen,' you fucker!

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Uri Fintzy

…But 5'13″ at the Most.

Guy #1: Yo, how tall am I?
Guy #2: Um, maybe 6'1″ or 6'2″
Guy #1: Awesome.
Guy #2: Yeah, maybe your hair adds some, you're probably 6' or 5'12″

–G Train

Eh, Mickey's Pretty White-Bread

Middle-aged Italian man #1: They got ketchup on wundabread in dea.
Middle-aged Italian man#2: Dat's a pizza even the mice wud send back!

–Lexington & 45th

Overheard by: Marianne Maguire

Nobody Even Tries to Talk on IPhones Anymore

Ghetto fab black girl: Hey, can we see that pic you just took?
Ghetto fab Latina, sitting across: No, bitch.
Ghetto fab black girl: How about you come over to our side? Sit over here!
Ghetto fab Latina, getting up and walking away: How 'bout you eat my butt?

–4 Train

Overheard by: CMK

The International Wednesday One-Liner Fund

Man on phone: Fuck personal, this is business. You owe me six grand. I don't care how you get it, but you owe me, so you better start sucking some dick, you better start sniping people, I don't care! I want my money!

–181st St & Ft Washington Ave

30-something woman with thick Russian accent to 20-something guy: Two weeks later you get all money back, plus fifty percent.

–Bench, Union Square Park

Overheard by: Farley

Man on phone: It's amazing! A year ago, I didn't know the difference between an asset and an equity!

–4th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Sagehen

Ghetto teenager, holding five dollar bill, to friend: Come on, lend me a dollar, I don't want to break a big bill!

–Deli, Coney Island

Guy on cell: What do you mean you want all my money?

–Westside Market, 103rd & Broadway

Overheard by: boBob