Child, crying: Doggie!
Mother: I told you… Shut up!
–Fordham & Valentine
Archive for July, 2011
Hey, That's “Lady Boy” to You!
Male clerk to short-haired female customer: Five dollars, sir.
Female customer, cheerfully: Thank you, madam!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: Sunissa
The Santorum Bagel's Really More Of a Pennsylvania Thing, Sir
Man at bagel shop: You got peanut butter?
Girl at counter: Yeah.
Man: Give me a garlic bagel with peanut butter on both sides of the bagel.
(girl gives look of disgust)
–83rd & Lexington
Why They Aren't Allowed Back at Toys R Us
Girl #1: I know giraffe is kosher, but they just don't know where to cut it.
Girl #2: Yeah. The neck is just so long.
–115th & Broadway
It Was Band Jacket Day in Manhattan
Teenage tourist girl in school band jacket: I love New York!
Teenage tourist boy in school band jacket: And the best part is we don't even look like tourists!
Teenage tourist girl in school band jacket: I know, right? Where's the subway?
Teenage tourist boy in school band jacket, glancing around: That way. (points toward 7th Ave)
–35th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katarina
…Just Like It Says in the New New Testament.
Crazy preacher: And so, you should praise the name of Jesus!
Young African American girl: Amen!
Crazy preacher: You should say blessings and not curses!
Young African American girl: I said 'amen,' you fucker!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Uri Fintzy
Their Brains Have Been Closed for Years.
Dumb girl #1: What does “ajar” mean? Is it like “open” or “close”? I think it means like “open.”
Dumb girl #2: A jar could be closed. Oh, wait, you mean like a door.
Dumb girl #1: I'm looking it up. Yep, it means open.
–Hayden Hall, W 4th St
…But 5'13″ at the Most.
Guy #1: Yo, how tall am I?
Guy #2: Um, maybe 6'1″ or 6'2″
Guy #1: Awesome.
Guy #2: Yeah, maybe your hair adds some, you're probably 6' or 5'12″
–G Train
Eh, Mickey's Pretty White-Bread
Middle-aged Italian man #1: They got ketchup on wundabread in dea.
Middle-aged Italian man#2: Dat's a pizza even the mice wud send back!
–Lexington & 45th
Overheard by: Marianne Maguire
In the Same Way Pudding Is Harder Than Yogurt
Girl #1: So we were arguing back and forth and she was trying to be all hard so she was all “I'm from Harlem, yo!” and then her friend was like “Wait, I thought you were from Murray Hill” so I was like “so much for being from Harlem, bitch, Murray Hill is so hard!
Girl #2: Yeah, plus you're from East Village, which is way harder than Murray Hill.
–Tick Tock Diner