Man with Bluetooth, yelling: What does it matter? One pee hole is just like any other pee hole! –103rd & Broadway Student: What did you do, jump in your piss? –Bronx High School of Science Overheard by: urbanadventurer Boy to aunt: Can you explain something to me? How do girls manage to pee on the seat? –Starbucks Elegant suit: I mean, how am I supposed to walk in the club and have my swag on when I gotta pee like a racehorse? –10th St & Ave A 30-something tall woman on cell: How do you go from missionary style to peeing in the mouth? Are you kidding me? –Leroy & 7th Overheard by: MA
40-something man on cell: You can't take a dollar out of my ass and put it into your own ass, you bitch. You can't! (pause) I'm sorry, you bitch. –Astoria Guy to friend: And then I just stuck my fingers in her ass. –13th St b/w 2nd &nd 1st 40-something to friend: I'm gonna fuck that fuckin' pussy and put my thumb up in her butthole. –Central Park Short balding fat tattooed guy in gym lockers: How the hell did I get glitter up my ass??!! –New York Sports Club locker room – 59th/Park Overheard by: jason
Woman examining long hair on her chin: I'm gonna pluck this sucker! –Ikea Cafeteria, Brooklyn Overheard by: J Preteen skater boy to preteen skater friends: I don't want to go to a shitty spa, I want to go to a good spa. –10th St & Ave A Overheard by: TeddySmalls Drunk girl in bathroom to friends: Like, okay, I really can't be too hungover for tomorrow. I have to get my hair bleached. –Irish Exit, 52nd & 2nd Overheard by: alicia Waxer, waving brightly at departing client: Bye bye! Sorry about the torture! –Day Spa, 33rd St. Overheard by: Ladle
Preppy-looking 30-something, pointing to the rice: Ew! What is that green stuff?
Underpaid Chipotle employee: It's cilantro.
Preppy-looking 30-something: I don't even know what that is. Why would you put that there? –Chipotle, Union Square Overheard by: shorty j
Husband: It's air-conditioned in here!
Wife: Jesus Christ, not so loud! It's a church, for god's sake.
Husband, after long pause: This isn't a catholic church, is it?
Wife: Really? Then what the hell are we doing here? (they get up and leave) –Trinity Church Overheard by: E. Driscoll
Pretty girl #1: I swear I would make such a good spy…
Pretty girl #2: You could like, kill people?
Pretty girl #1: Well, if I could get over the killing part. All that blood…
Pretty girl #2: Yeah, blood's kind of icky… –Natural History Museum
Man in line waiting for bus during rush hour: Oh, great! Here comes the guy who's always helping people.
Man in high heels, shouting orders: We need three more people on this bus! (pause) Suitcases coming through! (pause) Are you waiting for the 162? Yes? Good, then stay right here! –Port Authority Bus Terminal
Guy #1: Yo, there's some fat asses up in this mufucker.
Guy #2: You right. You right.
Guy #1: I always figured the grocery store was the best place to bag a bitch. She'll take of your family, she'll take care of your finances, and she got a fat ass. That's a triple threat, son. –Super Stop and Shop, Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn
EMT: Did you call an ambulance?
Drunk girl: I can't breathe, bitch! –31st St, Astoria
Young woman dashing into sex toy shop: Do you have any cigarettes? Marlboro lights?
Proprietor: Uh… No.
Male customer: This isn't that kind of store!
Young woman: Ha ha, I see now, you sell dildos! But why would you want a dildo if you don't have a cigarette after? –14th St Overheard by: Rose Fox