Pretentious, fake man to pretentious, fake woman: But of course, Soho in the old days was so pretentious and fake…
–Art Gallery, Chelsea
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Big blond tourist doof to grossly overweight wife who eyeballs every passenger: Yes, you'll see all kinds here.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Suze Volchok
British tourist : There's too many fucking tourists.
–42nd St
30-something on cell: I hate it when people put labels on other people, it's just… so gay.
–McCarren Park
Archive for October, 2011
Wednesday Headliners
Tourist to another: I don't get why they have a roller coaster based on Aerosmith. They need to have a ride based on someone that everybody likes, like Britney Spears.
–Q Train
Confused teenage girl to another, looking at wall of silver-screen era movie star magazines: Where's Justin Bieber?
–Museum of the Moving Image, Astoria
Overheard by: Lori
Blond: It's not like it was Barack Obama. We just saw Mike Myers! It was like "Ohmygod, I totally admire you!"
–W 4th St
Overheard by: Megan W.
Bearded guy to tough guy: You should scissor-kick the shit outta Snooki.
–40th St & Broadway
The Day Grandpa Lost His License
Woman, walking into DMV office with old dude: I'll take care of this; you go get some coffee.
Man, mumbling grumpily to himself: I don't drink coffee; I drink vodka!
–DMV Office, 34th & 8th Ave
Aren't All New York Girls Lesbians?
Girl #1, outraged: There's a line at The Cubby Hole?
Girl #2: That's gay!
–Outside Said Bar
Is That a Trick Question?
Punk rock girl hipster: It's like if I had a dick, but only one ball. And I was living inside that ball.
Male counterpart: Yeah, and then your dick doesn't even do anything.
Punk rock girl hipster: Wait, I have a dick?
–5th & 58th
…But Now I'm Balls-Deep in Rainbow Town
Construction worker #1: Yeah, it was great. Got to sit on that ridge and look out and see a rainbow. Do you get any rainbows in El Salvador?
Construction worker #2: No, we don't get rainbows there.
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: Clint
Dear Diary– A Woman Hit on Me Today!
Scary-looking older woman creeping out from underneath stairs, loudly: Hey, you got any crack?
Passerby: No.
Scary-looking older woman, loudly: What the hell good are you, then?
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Emily Glass-Bowman
It's a Black Hawk Helicopter or Nothing at All, Little Buddy.
Upper East Side kid: Can we take a cab?
Mom: No, all the cabs are full.
Upper East Side kid: What about a limousine?
–5th Ave & 88th St
Overheard by: Upper East Side Bingo
Wednesday One-Liners Fight for Their Right to Potty
Preteen thug to friend: Yo, you gotta stop peeing in bottles and leaving them on the sidewalk, man! If you're gonna pee in it, at least drink it!
–Central Park West & 96th
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy in clown costume: Come on, people, take mah pitcha! What I gotta do, piss mah pants?
–7th Ave & 35th St
Overheard by: Eve, who didn't take pitcha
Teen: I had to pee like that today in class, but didn't want to leave. So yeah, I like your toilet, too.
–L Train
Overheard by: Katrin
Old black woman on phone: What did I tell you? You can't trust a man who pisses on his hands.
–Central Park
Overheard by: anime_milkshake
The Village Bicycle's Wednesday One-Liners
Asian girl: I always spelled it "h-o-e," but apparently it's spelled "h-o."
–Urban Outfitters
Student to group of friends: I'm black, I can be slutty and still get a welfare check.
–116th & Broadway
20-something girl on cell: I know I always say this, but I really thought I was just going to do a little bit with him!
–2nd Ave & 3rd St
Overheard by: Pedro
Dressed-to-the-nines, hermes-kelly-bag-carrying prep school mom to another: That's because she's such a slut!
–Upper West Side Prep-School Recruitment Fair