Archive for October, 2011

Translation: I Wouldn't Fuck You on a Bet

Girl: Every time I see a two-wheeled bicycle, I think of you.
Guy: Um, all bicycles have two wheels…

–Brooklyn Flea, Williamsburg

Overheard by: She must think of him a lot, in this neck of the woods

Nothing That Cool, Honey

Girl #1: Where's Andy tonight?
Girl #2: He couldn't make it, he has his javascript class on Thursday nights.
Girl #1: Oh, cool. So he's training to be a barista or something?

–Brooklyn Bridge Park

Overheard by: Arielle

Some Staten Island Headlines Really Write Themselves.

Student #1: I hate it when single married people…
Student #2, interrupting: Wait, single married people?
Student #1: Yeah, single married people…
Student #2: Do you hear yourself when you speak? What the hell is a single married person?!
Student #1: You know, it's people who were married but are single now…
Student #2: You mean divorced people?!
Student #1: Yeah! It's the same shit!
Student #2, walking away: You're a moron…

–College of Staten Island

Overheard by: Michael Saadi

Your Penis Is Out, Sir.

Lady walking dog, to dog who had run away and over road: Come back!
Man walking past: Why is your dog not on a fucking leash? He could have been killed, that's so fucking irresponsible!
Lady, quietly: Sorry, he got away from me.
Man: You're so fucking stupid, it makes me mad!

–Central Park

Overheard by: Slickback Lamar

Tonight on Shameless

Physically fit 30-something Puerto Rican man: Hey, can you just give me a dollar?
Blind Dominican guy: I'm sorry man, if I had it I would give it to you.

–44th St & Lexington

Overheard by: negrapola

Oh, the Ladies Always Say That.

Central Park conservancy guy: I like your style, beautiful lady.
Beautiful lady: Thanks. I like your golf cart.

–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park

Overheard by: Alexandra

Um, I Don't Think “David Hasselhoff” Counts.

Regis nerd: If you had to sacrifice me or him to the gods, who would you choose?
Friend, thinking hard: I think I'd sacrifice me.
(they start laughing and saying the names of gods)

–Central Park

Overheard by: Fresca P.

…Like That Counts?

Girl: Ohmigod, I love being popular!
Boy: You're not popular, you only have like nine friends.
Girl: I mean in real life, not on Facebook.
Boy: Oh.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Plus It's Totally Racist That They Mark Stuff Wrong in Red.

Tall boy: So, I had some really stupid question in school, and it was like, 'how did the Indians feel about the British?'
Emo girl: You're not a fricken mind reader! How are you supposed to know?
Tall boy: Yeah, right? They could be feeling hungry or tired or thinking that the British wear lame outfits…
Emo girl: Just write that. They can't mark it wrong, because I'm pretty sure they don't read minds either.

–Times Square