Archive for October, 2011

And Robin, His Altar Boy

Girl #1: Why are you wearing a man's batman shirt?
Girl #2: Because Batman is the best darn superhero in the world. Well, not in the world. That's Jesus. After Jesus, there's Batman.

–Target

Overheard by: I love Batman too!


Translation: I Wouldn't Fuck You on a Bet

Girl: Every time I see a two-wheeled bicycle, I think of you.
Guy: Um, all bicycles have two wheels…

–Brooklyn Flea, Williamsburg

Overheard by: She must think of him a lot, in this neck of the woods


Nothing That Cool, Honey

Girl #1: Where's Andy tonight?
Girl #2: He couldn't make it, he has his javascript class on Thursday nights.
Girl #1: Oh, cool. So he's training to be a barista or something?

–Brooklyn Bridge Park

Overheard by: Arielle


Some Staten Island Headlines Really Write Themselves.

Student #1: I hate it when single married people…
Student #2, interrupting: Wait, single married people?
Student #1: Yeah, single married people…
Student #2: Do you hear yourself when you speak? What the hell is a single married person?!
Student #1: You know, it's people who were married but are single now…
Student #2: You mean divorced people?!
Student #1: Yeah! It's the same shit!
Student #2, walking away: You're a moron…

–College of Staten Island

Overheard by: Michael Saadi


Are You on Mescalin?

Cashier: Mescaline?
Grocery bagger: Dunno. (reaches for the produce cheat sheet)
Cashier: No, what is it?
Grocery bagger: Oh, I thought you was asking what the code for it was!

–Upscale Grocery Store, Morningside


Your Penis Is Out, Sir.

Lady walking dog, to dog who had run away and over road: Come back!
Man walking past: Why is your dog not on a fucking leash? He could have been killed, that's so fucking irresponsible!
Lady, quietly: Sorry, he got away from me.
Man: You're so fucking stupid, it makes me mad!

–Central Park

Overheard by: Slickback Lamar


Tonight on Shameless

Physically fit 30-something Puerto Rican man: Hey, can you just give me a dollar?
Blind Dominican guy: I'm sorry man, if I had it I would give it to you.

–44th St & Lexington

Overheard by: negrapola


Oh, the Ladies Always Say That.

Central Park conservancy guy: I like your style, beautiful lady.
Beautiful lady: Thanks. I like your golf cart.

–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park

Overheard by: Alexandra


Me?

Man: Asian chicks are all like, really tight or really loose y'know.
Girl: Wait, like…?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Wow….