Archive for November, 2011

Young Men Really Don't Know Much About Women

Eager hipster guy: So if we are friends with benefits we can have sex with no strings attached?
Jaded hipster girl: Yeah, I guess…
Eager hipster guy: Yesssssss!

–Ditmars Blvd & 36th St

And Because I Despised You Right Away

Neighbor: Do you know how I knew you were from England?
Husband and wife, together: Because we were speaking English?


Overheard by: Nikita

…No One Else Has Problems Like I Do!

Adolescent prep school boy #1: Winter's Bone was definitely the biggest upset of the Oscars.
Adolescent prep school boy #2: Wouldn't know. It wouldn't load it onto my iPad.

–79th St

Overheard by: crosstowner

At Least It's Not One Of Those Cheese Lines.

Tourist: What's everyone sitting around for?
New Yorker: We're waiting for the aliens to land.
Tourist, walking away: New Yorkers are weird.

–Times Square

Overheard by: snickering into my magazine

…But His Parents Will Shame Him

Asian teen #1: He failed it.
Asian teen #2: Wait, did he fail fail, or Asian fail?
Asian teen #1: He fail failed–he got like a sixty five.
Asian teen #3: No, that's an Asian fail.
Asian teen #2: Yeah, he still passed.

–R Train

Google Will Tell Me How I Feel

Tourist mom to worried-looking daughter: Are you pleased or unpleased?
Tourist daughter: I'm not sure, mom. I'll have to google it.

–White Stret, Chinatown

Overheard by: BillySometimes

And People Milk His Name for All It's Worth.

Four-year-old girl wearing cheese head: Mom, does Jesus have a cheese head, too?
Mom: I don't know. Why do you think he would?
Girl: Because he has 'cheese' in his name.

–Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn on Halloween

Overheard by: brownie