Archive for November, 2011

Wednesdays Brush After Every One-Liner

Gay guy to friends: And you know what? His teeth look like chiklets! There, I've said it! It's like he fished in his pocket, grabbed a handful of chiklets, went to a cosmetic dentist and said, "make me a smile!"

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Gus

Cotton candy vendor: Hey, yo! Last call for a root canal…

–Yankee Stadium

Old hobo to hot younger woman: Sure would like to hold you, but you got teeth. I wouldn't know what to say. Met some beautiful women in my youth, didn't know what to say to them neither. Should've kept it simple: can I get a kiss?

–6 Train

Overheard by: Christine

Young child: Mom, where are my teeth?

–Lafayette St

Tonight, on a Very Special Wednesday One-Liners

Astute girl to female friend: Honestly, I should have realized we didn't stand a chance when he said that Law & Order: CI was better than SVU.

–Greenwich Ave & W10th

Overheard by: alixthamilton

Pissed drunk guy with crew cut, after exiting restaurant: Fuck! I missed Nancy Grace! Jeezus-Christmas!

–Driggs Ave & Broadway, Williamsburg

Overheard by: T. Myers

Girl in mermaid costume: Get obsessed with something normal, like Star Trek.

–N Train

NYU gay student: I am never watching Adventure Time at 4 in the morning again.

–Weinstein Hall, NYU

Overheard by: MATHEMATICAL!

Angry gangsta on cell: Man! That dude stole my fucking money! I'ma kill that fucking nigga! (pause) After I go watch True Blood at mom's. (pause) Yeah, you can come…

–Port Authority

Overheard by: E.Major

Dude, Just Roll With It

Drunk girl trying to flirt with a stranger: Oh my god! No way I have actually met people, that's so funny!
Stranger: Wait… What?

–L Train

Nicole Richie? Really?

BMCC student #1: I can't believe she played that card, what a self-hating Puerto Rican.
BMCC student #2: Sounds like it!

–Chambers St & Greenwich St

Overheard by: A.J.

Maybe They Want to Put Their Money Where Their Mouth Is?

Mixed race girl: I just love 50 cent, I mean, check out that body. He is so hot!
Caucasian girl: His body is nice, but I can't stand those grillz. Why do those people wear grillz anyways?
(mixed race girl raises an eyebrow at Caucasian girl)
Caucasian girl
: I meant rappers! I'm not racist!

–40th & 8th

Overheard by: Let me see your grillz

It's a Good Place to Be High

Guy walking on the high line: It's like… organized messiness…
Woman: Yes. That's why I like it.

–The High Line

“They” Must Be the Ministry Of Truth

Kid #1, about Oregon Trail game: Do you believe in dysentery?
Kid #2: Naw, I bet they made it up for the game, just like the wagons!

–Smith & Wyckoff, Brooklyn