Archive for November, 2011

…We Might Run Into My Conquests.

Overenthusiastic hipster teen: Look, mom! It's the Stonewall inn! Man, I heard about this place!
Clueless mom: Oh, great. I'm so hungry! You want to eat here?
Overenthusiastic hipster teen: Sure, but ma, it would be awkward for us to have dinner in a gay bar. –Christopher Street, Greenwich Village Overheard by: Delilah

…I Feel a Disturbance in the Force

Guy, in Star Wars' Emperor voice: Oh, I do believe the weapons on this battle station are fully operational.
Girl: That means you have an erection, doesn't it? –Atlantic Center, Brooklyn Overheard by: Jesus Jon

Hey, Being Fat Is My Performance Art!

Fat hobo to skinny homeless artist: Can you spare some change so I can get something to eat?
Skinny homeless artist: Are you fucking kidding me? –33rd St & Park Ave

The Terrorists Did Win

Guy to lady: So, there are snipers on your roof?
Lady to guy: Sigh… yeah. –45th & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Seth

Brooklyn's Notorious for Arguments About the Space-Time Continuum

Church-goer #1, from across the street: Hey! I been lookin for you!
Church-goer #2, looking puzzled: You been lookin for me? What's the matta with yo eyes? You blind? I'm right here walking towards you now! You ain't see me? –Marcy Ave & Fulton, Brooklyn Overheard by: rick

That's What You Said About the BP Spill!

Cashier #1, handing towel to coworker who just spilled soda: There ya go!
Cashier #2: Don't matter. I'm getting fucked tonight anyway. –Sbarros, Times Square