Archive for December, 2011

“We Will Never…Um…”

Man: Miss, sorry, can you tell me what is the way to go to Ground Zero?
Waitress: Ground Zero?
Man: Yeah, Ground Zero!
Waitress: What the hell is Ground Zero?

–Times Square


Baby Got No-Back

Receptionist: What's in the package?
Office worker: It's a full denim jumpsuit with the back cut out.
Receptionist: What's it for?
Office worker: A baby shower. I wanted to wear something, you know…
Receptionist: Sophisticated.

–Wall Street Office

Overheard by: thecaitd


It Totally Should

Four-year-old girl in elevator: What floor are you going to?
Woman in elevator: PH, the penthouse.
Four-year-old girl: Ohhh, I thought that stood for pool house!

–22nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Yeah, I wish


It's Also Not So Glorious.

Woman friend #1: Unbelievable! I finally got my period. Right now, of all times.
Woman friend #2: It's no longer a bloodless revolution!

–Zuccotti Park


…I'm No Slut

Stupid girl #1: You know she has three baby daddies?
Stupid girl #2: Wow, that's crazyyyy!! (pause) The most I would have is like two.

–Best Buy Bathroom, Union Square

Overheard by: Katherine


Probably Time to Show Him the Video Of the Judge Beating His Daughter With a Belt

Frustrated mother, walking down sidewalk with son: All the superheros listen to their mommies.
Cute but rambunctious young son: No!
Mother: Superman listens to his mommy.
Son: No!
Mother: Spiderman listens to his mommy.
Son: No!
Mother: The Power Rangers listen to their mommies.
Son: No!
Mother: Batman listens to his mommy.
Son: No!
Mother: And do you know why all the superheroes listen to their mommies?
Son, suddenly curious: Why?
Mother: Because they're good boys.
Son: No!

–Whitehall & Bridge Streets, Financial District

Overheard by: Aaron


God, I Miss The Hills.

Girl #1: You know what I always have problems with? “Effort” and “affort.”
Girl #2: Yeah…
Girl #1: I can never remember which one to use.
Girl #2: Wait… Do you mean “effect”?

–1 Train


Next: Sexual Orientation

Four-year old child to mom: I want strawberry.
Mom to child: No, chocolate is your favorite. (to store clerk) One scoop of chocolate, please.

–Bleeker St