Archive for 2011

That Bag Is So Bag

Thugette: That bag is so ghetto!
Thug: No, that bag is not ghetto. Ghetto is a noun, not an adjective. That bag is from the ghetto! –Metro-North Rail Overheard by: Stefanie

From My Big Book Of Things Straight Men Don't Say

Older woman, watching painting: She is ugly. She has a really ugly face. Look at her forehead!
Older man: Yeah, she's pretty ugly.
Older woman: But wow! She has great tits!
Older man: But they're pointing the wrong way! –Museum of Modern Art

…On the DL

Young girl to woman with dog: I have a cat.
Woman: Oh yeah? What color is he?
Young girl, very seriously: He's black, but he wants to be a tabby. –Downtown C Train Overheard by: Emily

And He's Licking All the Passersby Because He's Creative

Grocery store employee to boy not letting automatic doors close: Hey kid, keep that door closed alright? There's AC in here. Those doors are meant to be closed.
Boy's mother: If doors were meant to be closed they would be walls. –Flatbush, Brooklyn Overheard by: Taylor Morgan

This Gives Us the Chills.

Guy #1: It's kinda cold out. Summer is officially over.
Guy #2: It's getting cold. I guess it's time to start looking for a girlfriend.
Guy #1: Shit. You're right. –7 Train Overheard by: ilana b

The U.S. Postal Service Is Not Much for Thinking Outside the Box

Post office clerk: Hi sir, how can I help you?
Spanish guy: Hi, I want to pick up my package.
Post office clerk: Sir, your package is not here.
Spanish guy: But I thought I can pick up my package anywhere.
Post office clerk: No, your package gets sent to only one post office. It cannot be here or in multiple locations.
Spanish guy: Wait… Aren't you guys connected?
Post office clerk: Next! –Sheepshead Bay Post Office Overheard by: R and C

Oh, Like Lucy Liu Eats Chipotle?

Thug #1: Yo, did I ever tell you about that time I met Lucy Liu, my nigga?
Thug #2: Nah.
Thug #1: Oh shit, well I was up in Chipotle and I turned around and I fuckin' saw this bad-ass bitch and I turned to my nigga and I was like “yo, is that Lucy fuckin Liu up in dis bitch?” and it was, so we was mad cheesin'. –4 Train

Try It As a Hat

Normal mom, holding dinosaur shirt: Honey, how about this one?
Hipster dad: I don't know, maybe if people knew I was wearing it ironically… –AMNH Dinostore Overheard by: Erin