Archive for 2011

Wednesday One-Landfills

Woman to child: Hold my hand, we're not in Staten Island anymore. –Park Slope Overheard by: Bella Crazy guy on bus: This is for the public! This is for the public! When's the last time you been to Staten Island? Seriously, when's the last time any of you been to Staten Island? Think about it! –N6 Bus Overheard by: not from staten island NYU girl to friends: I didn't know Staten Island was, like, a real island. Do people actually live there? –F Train Young Italian kid: Anywhere important in Staten Island has a Wendy's next to it. –Spumoni Gardens, Brooklyn Overheard by: T.T. Late teens punk girl, loudly: Hell no, I'm not going to Staten Island… What the fuck is there? All they have there are young, unwed girls like you! –Walgreens

The Most Talked-About Wednesday One-Liners Of the Season!

Cheap suit on phone: Make conversation? All you guys fucking talk about is bowel movements and the reporting thereof! –Spring St & Cleveland Pl Overheard by: Neilium 20-something hot chick on cell: I'm talking about a dog, Sean. Not a penis. –C Train Scandalized woman to husband: And they just kept talking about jizz! –E Train Woman on cell: I can't talk about somebody being sexy while you talk about my vagina? –37th & 7th Ave Overheard by: Mondo Man

Real Wednesday One-Liners Don't Smile

Thug, yelling to mother and kids walking away: Nah, kids don't scare me off. I love kids. I plan on getting like tree-four women pregnant by this summer. –Nostrand Ave, Bed-Stuy Overheard by: rick Thug: Damn. You gotta go all the way downtown just to get a slice of fucking red velvet. –Brookdale Hospital, Brooklyn Thug teen: Yo, if I'ma pay six bucks for a meal, that shit better be grand. –R Train Overheard by: Jon A. Thug yelling to group: I don't care who hears this! Redheads fuck like black chicks! –7th Ave Thug: You fuckin' motherfucker! (pause, then regretfully) I love you. –Times Square Overheard by: Brotha'Love

And Don't Bake Where You Make

Guy: Hey, why don't you work here?
Girl: Don't shit where you study. –Hungarian Pastry Shop Overheard by: Emily B.

And I Didn't Even Hit You

Plastered Asian guy to Asian girl: Your vagina is vibrating! We're having a poor man's abortion! –7 Train

It's Tough to Keep a Marriage Afloat, People.

Woman: I have an idea. Why don't you tell your wife you want to renew your vows, then take her on a cruise and push her overboard.
Man: If it was that easy, baby, a lot more people would be taking cruises. –Uptown 6 Train Overheard by: Carolyn