Archive for 2011

Wednesday One-Liners for Meredith Brooks

Girl to boyfriend: So I told that bitch if she's going to be saying shit pertaining to my little brother, I will tear her fucking wig off. –D Train Recent college grad to friends: That girl has a fetish. She dresses like herself and acts like a bitch! –21st & 3rd Overheard by: Brad Woman exiting doors holding many plastic bags, to nobody in particular: New York Penn station bitch! Shut the fuck yo ugly ass up… –Penn Station Overheard by: Michael Morgenstern Woman on phone walking dogs: She is some bitch with an '80s hairdo and all she does is sit in her office making flyers for her heavy metal band. Plus, she's a lesbo… –Central Park Overheard by: chocolate happy Guy on cell: And if I ever fucking see that fucking bitch ass motherfucker again… Hang on, I've got a call on the other line. (pause) Yes, this is Christopher. Oh, hello! It's so nice to hear from you. How have you been? –1st & 1st

Etiquette Lessons?

Woman to friend: Where are all the Jews?
Conservative Jewish boy in front of her, turning around: Hi, is there anything you need? –42nd & Park Overheard by: Kaye

…And I'm the Smart One

Girl #1: I don't know why everyone always tells me I look like my sister.
Girl #2: You do!
Girl #1: I mean, I know we look the same but our personalities are completely different. –LaGuardia Airport

Are All Men Brothers? Discuss.

Hyper redhead: I came here on a date with a guy and within the first ten minutes he was telling me about a dream where he was having anal sex with his brother.
Thoroughly friend-zoned dude: (brief, inaudible response)
Hyper redhead: I know. It's like, why would you bring that up? –20th St & Park Ave