Archive for 2011

Sean Develops Eyeabetes

Student #1: Dude, she's so friggin hot.
Student #2: Aren't you married?
Student #1: Yeah, but it doesn't hurt to look. Eye candy. Yum yum yum! –New York Law School Overheard by: shaking my head at NYLS

That's One Of Our Songs!

Hobo, approaching musicians: Hey, guys, what are you up to tonight?
Band member: We just played a show here.
Hobo, walking away mumbling: I ain't gonna get no pay from damn musicians… –Outside Cakeshop, Ludlow Overheard by: THA

So Old, It Says “Made in USA”

Woman #1: Well, when we were at that thrift store…
Woman #2: Not thrift! Vintage! It used to be thrift; now it's vintage! But it's still old, bitch! It's old! –Williamsburg Overheard by: Brian L.

Why I Don't Make Small Talk with Customers: A Parable.

Counter girl: What's that, a tennis shirt? Do you play tennis?
Dude: No.
Counter girl: Poser!
Dude: Well, actually–this will sound a little pretentious, but this shirt is from the tennis academy in the book “Infinite Jest.” –Bond & Pacific, Boerum Hill Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Another Dictator Toppled by Joan Rivers' Acid Tongue

Guy #1, looking at a big police truck: What the fuck do they have inside?
Guy #2, laughing: They are hiding Gaddafi.
Guy #1: In the end, he's just a cheesy narcissistic ego-maniac… I can't help but to get him.
Guy #2: He looks like someone who'd be driving a taxi.
Guy #1: What? No! Haven't you seen the two-hour long fashion retrospective on him? –West Village

Is This a Plug? Discuss.

Man #1: Can you buy me a hotdog? I'm really hungry.
Man #2: Okay.
Man #1: Can you follow me on twitter, @sleepinginjeans?
Man #2: No. –Times Square

I Find OB/GYNistan Cuisine Both Exciting and Disgusting

Girl: They opened up an Oosbetistan restaurant by my place.
Guy: (blank stare)
Girl: You know, all the “stans”: Oosbetistan, Takaministan, Armenistan… I actually only know a couple of them. –42nd & Broadway Overheard by: Renee

Wow, You Really Can Pickle Anything.

Young woman to older man: So, you've found Jesus?
Older man: Well, I never really lost him. I put him away for about twenty years, but I always knew where he was. –JFK Airport Overheard by: eejay