Archive for 2011

Actually, I Have a Machine That Does It For Me.

Dude in backseat to man: Oh, damn son, your lady is fiiiine!
Man on street: Thanks…
Lady: Hah!
Dude in backseat: You better suck on them toes! Mmm!

–35th St & Madison

Overheard by: Amanda


Every Day Is “Ignorant Old-Person Day”

Old woman, after hearing court administrators talk about upcoming holiday (Veteran's Day): What holiday is it tomorrow, I can't remember?
Black man behind the counter: It is the holiday where we remember and thank people like me.
Old woman: Martin Luther King day?

–Beaver St


Translation: She's Prettier Than Me

40-something man: Do you think she's a model?
40-something woman: Nah, she's too short to be a model, but she's not too short to be a bitch.

–Broadway & 86th St


Oooh, or a Mexican Spitfire?

Guy: John has a girlfriend. She's a real spitfire.
Girl: A spitfire like she's 18 and on coke all the time?

–F Train

Overheard by: BeccaGo


Is Education Still the Way Out Of Poverty? Discuss.

Australian girl, pointing towards housing projects: Are they the dorms for Columbia students?
American guy, slight pause: Errr… no.

–1 Train

Overheard by: An Australian — but one who was born WITH a brain


Humanity: Encapsulated.

Curious man: What would happen if I dropped a penny?
(drops penny)
Curious man
: Oh, shit, I think that hit someone!


–Top of Empire State Building


The National Debt Redounds to Your Detriment

Russian girl: Why don't you like her? You're French! You like sex! You French guys love the sexy time.
French guy: Well, yes…I guess so.
American guy: I like sexy time.
Russian girl: Yes, but I don't care about you, American boy.

–1st Ave & 25st St

Overheard by: UN employee