Archive for 2011

Um, I Don't Think “David Hasselhoff” Counts.

Regis nerd: If you had to sacrifice me or him to the gods, who would you choose?
Friend, thinking hard: I think I'd sacrifice me.
(they start laughing and saying the names of gods)

–Central Park

Overheard by: Fresca P.

…Like That Counts?

Girl: Ohmigod, I love being popular!
Boy: You're not popular, you only have like nine friends.
Girl: I mean in real life, not on Facebook.
Boy: Oh.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Plus It's Totally Racist That They Mark Stuff Wrong in Red.

Tall boy: So, I had some really stupid question in school, and it was like, 'how did the Indians feel about the British?'
Emo girl: You're not a fricken mind reader! How are you supposed to know?
Tall boy: Yeah, right? They could be feeling hungry or tired or thinking that the British wear lame outfits…
Emo girl: Just write that. They can't mark it wrong, because I'm pretty sure they don't read minds either.

–Times Square

Amy Winehouse's Suitors Soon Learn to Accept Her Foibles

Bouncer: She says she likes to break into places when she's drunk, not to steal anything but to explore.
Dude in line: I guess she's got a reason at least.
Bouncer: I guess.
Dude in line: I didn't say it was a good reason.


Overheard by: billy reamus

Strangely, This Was the Least Crappy Day John's Had in Weeks.

Young Hispanic man: Yo, man, you got some bird shit or something on you.
Big white man: Really? Shit, I always get crapped on.
Young Hispanic man: Lemme help you out. (proceeds to scrape bird poo off his coat)
Big white man, a few minutes later: You know what I love about Hispanic people, they care about family. White people have no sense of family!
Young Hispanic man: Yeah, but that's because we're not responsible enough to move out, white people are responsible enough to live on their own.
Big white man: But we have no sense of family! You have sense of family! White people don't care about family! I would know… I'm white! And I live alone and am bored all the time!
(line finally moves forward)
Young Hispanic man
: Nice to meet you!

Big white man: You too! Have a great day!

–Post Office, 180th St

…Without Getting Paid, Like Usual.

Brunette teen: Yeah, I saw that episode of Degrassi when Jimmy tries to fuck his girlfriend.
Blond teen: Fucking Jimmy would be like fucking a dead guy.

–14th St b/w 8th & 9th

Overheard by: musicgurl207