Archive for 2011

Sean Develops Eyeabetes

Student #1: Dude, she's so friggin hot.
Student #2: Aren't you married?
Student #1: Yeah, but it doesn't hurt to look. Eye candy. Yum yum yum!

–New York Law School

Overheard by: shaking my head at NYLS


Donald in Mathmagic Land Is Still Controversial

Dude #1: Two plus one equals three!
Dude #2: Well, two plus three equals you're an asshole!

–E 84th & 1st


That's One Of Our Songs!

Hobo, approaching musicians: Hey, guys, what are you up to tonight?
Band member: We just played a show here.
Hobo, walking away mumbling: I ain't gonna get no pay from damn musicians…

–Outside Cakeshop, Ludlow

Overheard by: THA


So Old, It Says “Made in USA”

Woman #1: Well, when we were at that thrift store…
Woman #2: Not thrift! Vintage! It used to be thrift; now it's vintage! But it's still old, bitch! It's old!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Brian L.


They're Well Known for Their Black Comedies.

Audience member, at Tracy Letts' play Superior Donuts: This play came from that place in Chicago.
Audience member's wife: Chicago?
Audience member: Yes, the uh, the Stepinfetchit Theatre Company.

–Music Box Theater

Overheard by: Tom


Why I Don't Make Small Talk with Customers: A Parable.

Counter girl: What's that, a tennis shirt? Do you play tennis?
Dude: No.
Counter girl: Poser!
Dude: Well, actually–this will sound a little pretentious, but this shirt is from the tennis academy in the book “Infinite Jest.”

–Bond & Pacific, Boerum Hill

Overheard by: Rich Mintz


Who'd Ever Learn Anything Deliberately?

Teen boy to group of teens: C'mon let's go do something!
Teen girl: Yo, we are on a class trip! We are supposed to be seeing the sights and learning stuff, ya know?
Teen boy: Fine! Look, there's the Empire State Building! Now let's go!
Teenage girl: That's the Chrysler Building, stupid!
Teen boy, while group laughs and mocks him: Yeah… Whatever… Who cares?

–42nd St & Madison Ave


Another Dictator Toppled by Joan Rivers' Acid Tongue

Guy #1, looking at a big police truck: What the fuck do they have inside?
Guy #2, laughing: They are hiding Gaddafi.
Guy #1: In the end, he's just a cheesy narcissistic ego-maniac… I can't help but to get him.
Guy #2: He looks like someone who'd be driving a taxi.
Guy #1: What? No! Haven't you seen the two-hour long fashion retrospective on him?

–West Village