Archive for 2011

Tonight on Fox: When Homeschooling Attacks!

Asian girl: I hate the 7, I have to take the local because of mechanical things.
White dude: I blame the Jews.
Asian girl: You blame the Jews for everything.
White dude: They're always fucking shit up–like when they killed 600,000 innocent Nazis.

–92nd & 1st


Sean Develops Eyeabetes

Student #1: Dude, she's so friggin hot.
Student #2: Aren't you married?
Student #1: Yeah, but it doesn't hurt to look. Eye candy. Yum yum yum!

–New York Law School

Overheard by: shaking my head at NYLS


Donald in Mathmagic Land Is Still Controversial

Dude #1: Two plus one equals three!
Dude #2: Well, two plus three equals you're an asshole!

–E 84th & 1st


The Best Part Is, He's Playing Angry Birds.

Senior exec, slowly talking to junior exec tapping on phone: So… We have … An offer… On the tab– I'm going to punch you in the face if you're not…
Junior exec, interrupting: No, I'm listening! I was just…
Senior exec: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be…
Junior exec: It's okay.

–Train, Penn Station

Overheard by: rick


That's One Of Our Songs!

Hobo, approaching musicians: Hey, guys, what are you up to tonight?
Band member: We just played a show here.
Hobo, walking away mumbling: I ain't gonna get no pay from damn musicians…

–Outside Cakeshop, Ludlow

Overheard by: THA


So Old, It Says “Made in USA”

Woman #1: Well, when we were at that thrift store…
Woman #2: Not thrift! Vintage! It used to be thrift; now it's vintage! But it's still old, bitch! It's old!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Brian L.


I Learned to Be Prepared in Gay Scouts

Fey baristo: Can I get a tall soy…?
Sassy barista: Don't you have a pen?
Fey baristo, searching his apron: Uh… I have an eyeliner!

–Starbucks, 14th & 6th

Overheard by: Rose Fox


They're Well Known for Their Black Comedies.

Audience member, at Tracy Letts' play Superior Donuts: This play came from that place in Chicago.
Audience member's wife: Chicago?
Audience member: Yes, the uh, the Stepinfetchit Theatre Company.

–Music Box Theater

Overheard by: Tom