Archive for 2011

Wednesdays Brush After Every One-Liner

Gay guy to friends: And you know what? His teeth look like chiklets! There, I've said it! It's like he fished in his pocket, grabbed a handful of chiklets, went to a cosmetic dentist and said, "make me a smile!"

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Gus

Cotton candy vendor: Hey, yo! Last call for a root canal…

–Yankee Stadium

Old hobo to hot younger woman: Sure would like to hold you, but you got teeth. I wouldn't know what to say. Met some beautiful women in my youth, didn't know what to say to them neither. Should've kept it simple: can I get a kiss?

–6 Train

Overheard by: Christine

Young child: Mom, where are my teeth?

–Lafayette St


Wednesday One-Liners Don't Mean a Thing If They Ain't Got That Bling

Thug, yelling: What you know about antioxidants, son?

–Times Square

Thug to pigeon walking in his path: Yo, move dawg! (pause) Move, nigga!

–Broadway & 17th St

Overheard by: Laughing my ass off

Thug on sample iPhone, in Apple store: Look, you stay on your side of town and I'll stay on my side of town.

–58th & 5th

Overheard by: Caset

Thug on cell: No! Don't interrupt me, man. Don't interrupt me, nigga, I'm trying to tell you how to cook a casserole!

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: Connor A.


Tonight, on a Very Special Wednesday One-Liners

Astute girl to female friend: Honestly, I should have realized we didn't stand a chance when he said that Law & Order: CI was better than SVU.

–Greenwich Ave & W10th

Overheard by: alixthamilton

Pissed drunk guy with crew cut, after exiting restaurant: Fuck! I missed Nancy Grace! Jeezus-Christmas!

–Driggs Ave & Broadway, Williamsburg

Overheard by: T. Myers

Girl in mermaid costume: Get obsessed with something normal, like Star Trek.

–N Train

NYU gay student: I am never watching Adventure Time at 4 in the morning again.

–Weinstein Hall, NYU

Overheard by: MATHEMATICAL!

Angry gangsta on cell: Man! That dude stole my fucking money! I'ma kill that fucking nigga! (pause) After I go watch True Blood at mom's. (pause) Yeah, you can come…

–Port Authority

Overheard by: E.Major


Can't Wait to Miss It

Student #1: What did you do today?
Student #2: I leaked the ABC fall lineup.
Student #1: Oh.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee


Dude, Just Roll With It

Drunk girl trying to flirt with a stranger: Oh my god! No way I have actually met people, that's so funny!
Stranger: Wait… What?

–L Train


Nicole Richie? Really?

BMCC student #1: I can't believe she played that card, what a self-hating Puerto Rican.
BMCC student #2: Sounds like it!

–Chambers St & Greenwich St

Overheard by: A.J.


Maybe They Want to Put Their Money Where Their Mouth Is?

Mixed race girl: I just love 50 cent, I mean, check out that body. He is so hot!
Caucasian girl: His body is nice, but I can't stand those grillz. Why do those people wear grillz anyways?
(mixed race girl raises an eyebrow at Caucasian girl)
Caucasian girl
: I meant rappers! I'm not racist!


–40th & 8th

Overheard by: Let me see your grillz