Archive for 2011

Amy's Curds Get in Her Whey

Girl: Do you smell something weird?
Friend: Yeah… I'm totally cottage- cheesing down south. Sorry, I'll spray some perfume.

–Hudson Hotel

One-upmanship Is My Anti-Drug

Panhandler: It took me 15 years to kick up the crack habit
Lady: Dang! It took you 15 years, it only to me 7.

–Uptown 3 Train

White Girls Dig the Disrespect

Thug to white woman on the street: Ashley! Yo Ashley!
Thug friend: You know her?
Thug: Man, they all named Ashley.

–145th St & Broadway

Isn't That Always the Way?

College student #1: I guess he's attractive.
College student #2: He's really hot. (pause) Too bad he's gay.
College student #1: He didn't used to be like that.
College student #2: He didn't?
College student #1: No, it started when he went to France.

–Barnard Elevator

Overheard by: France Will Do That To You

Your Editors Nodded Off Just Reading the Explanation

Asian girlfriend, walking down the street: You know those people from the anime Kekkaishi? I wonder how they could use their powers in the real world.
African-American boyfriend, holding her hand: I know… Border patrol. Ketsu, ketsu, ketsu! No way, Josés, are you getting over! Then they'll shrink them and send them back to Mexico city.

–Park Slope

The Hard Part Is Pretending to Listen

Guy #1: Oh, I'm not really up for a relationship. I mean… Being in a relationship means talking to the same person every single day.
Guy #2: Yeah…

–42nd St

Overheard by: Lana

The Ad Captain Morgan Doesn't Want You to See

Hobo, slurring slightly: Ladies and gentlemen. Sorry to bother you but I'm homeless and hungry. Please, if you can help me with some money for food. God bless you and your families.
Woman: You want a sip of rum?
Homeless man: Huh?
Woman: A sip of rum. That's all I've got. (unscrews the cap of the bottle in a brown bag)
Hobo, taking sip and smacking lips: Aaaaahhhhh…

–D Train

Kiss a MILF's Stretch Marks, and She's Yours

Ex frat boy #1: Yeah, older women can be hot.
Ex frat boy #2: Seriously, man. Women around 30 are the best. That's when they start getting boob jobs and shit.

–14th St & Ave B

Overheard by: Only22