Archive for 2011

The Friends-With-Benefits Virtuous Cycle

Obnoxious hipster girlfriend: That's all I want from you: sleeping, eating, and fucking.
Subservient hipster boyfriend: In that order?

–72nd St & Central Park West


Says She Feels Safe With Him

20-something woman to friend: You know who she's dating now?
Friend: Who?
20-something: The cop who arrested her when she was naked.
Friend: When was she naked?
20-something: When she was making that video.
Friend: Oh, yeah.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Catskill


Raise Your Hand If You Know Someone Who Did

Girl #1: We did some pretty kinky stuff last night.
Girl #2: How kinky?
Girl #1: He came while doing it in the butt!
Girl #2: Really? Can you get pregnant from that?

–2nd & 67th


Just Random Eavesdroppers?

Big-haired girlfriend: Are you listening to me?
Boyfriend: No, I never fucking listen to you.
Big-haired girlfriend: Okay, just don't embarrass me in front of my friends.

–Staten Island

Overheard by: thefabulous0ne


I've Seen Your Ohio-Face

Gay guy #1: There are no straight flights to Cleveland.
Gay guy #2: Oh, that explains it.

–LaGuardia Airport


…Dressed As Zorro.

Man with long wavy hair working food booth: Where the fuck do I know you from?
Preppy guy: You came to my wedding.

–NYC Food and Wine Festival, Grand Tasting


…Like I Do in Court

Creepy skater: I met the guy who played Pennywise the Clown, did I tell you? I was in the psych ward with him. He was all “I'm a computer programmer in actuality.” I'm like, “get away from me, you're creepy!”
Girlfriend: I don't believe you.
Creepy skater: I swear. I swear on all my stickers.

–31st & Ditmars


That's Pretty Sharp.

Mother to child: It's like unicorns, girls don't have horns and boys do.
Child: So does that mean that daddy has a horn on his head?

–80th St & Lexington Ave

Overheard by: Innocent bystander


How Was Your Halloween, New York?

Red-haired hobo: You're the one wearing horns.
Gay guy wearing black horn patches: This is so conspicuous.
Red-haired hobo: But you're the one who wanted to be in the sun.

–Church St & Worth St

Overheard by: Josh Ears Campbell