Archive for 2011

Who Needs a iPod When You Have the City?

Male conductor: This is 145th Street. Next stop, 155th Street.
(doors never open)
Female conductor
: Open the doors!

Male conductor: It ain't working!
Female conductor: Don't you remember anything?
Male conductor: Fuck this shit! I don't care about this fucking job. Ya'll are a joke. Ya'll don't fucking listen to me when I say this shit ain't working right!
Female conductor: Push this button!
(doors open)
Female conductor
: No shit.


–D Train

Overheard by: loveNYCtransitworkers


Ooo, I Like a Guy Who's Family Oriented!

Guy. hitting on girl: When I do something, I do something big. Like when I take you out to eat, we're not gonna go to McDonald's.
Girl, flattered: Oh yeah? Where are you gonna take me?
Guy, boasting: Olive Garden!

–Uptown 4 Train


Wouldn't It Be More Accurate to Say I Make You Nauseous

Woman: She's having morning sickness, but only in the evening.
Man: Wouldn't it be more accurate to just say she gets nauseous in the evening?
Woman, after pause: And then you complain you have no friends.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Big Larry


Judge Starr Loves the DNA

Defendant to officer: How do you think I'm doing?
Officer: Pretty good, but that pesky DNA might be a problem.

–Manhattan Supreme Court