Archive for 2011

The National Debt Redounds to Your Detriment

Russian girl: Why don't you like her? You're French! You like sex! You French guys love the sexy time.
French guy: Well, yes…I guess so.
American guy: I like sexy time.
Russian girl: Yes, but I don't care about you, American boy.

–1st Ave & 25st St

Overheard by: UN employee

Translation: “Jackpot!”

Vapid girl #1: What does your boyfriend do?
Vapid girl #2: He's like, a financial guy in like, finance.

–57th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: what's he really like?

Yeah, but You Looooove Coc.

Guy #1: Comrade is developing a new religion. He says I can be his first disciple.
Guy #2: What is it?
Guy #1: Should I love him and follow him?
Guy #2: I'd need to hear more about it.
Guy #1: The Church of Comrade. COC. The COC.
Guy #2: Well, I like the name.

–Heather's Bar

Overheard by: Z

How New Yorkers Say “Pardon, Ma'am.”

Texting ghetto girl running into young suit: The word is “excuse me”!
Young suit, flipping out: The word is “pay attention and stop texting, you stupid bitch.” So back the fuck off and happy holidays.

–Park Ave & 15th St

Overheard by: Tom

9/11 Affected Everyone in FDNY Differently

Balcony guy #1: Oh, you know who's ugly? Steve Buscemi. That guy's an ugly motherfucker.
Balcony guy #2: He looks like a bellybutton.
Balcony guy #1: A bellybutton??
Balcony guy #2: Yeah, he looks like an outie bellybutton.


Overheard by: Sean