Archive for 2011

Your Editors Plan to Give Kids' TV a Second Look

Hot girl: I've never seen Josh like this before in my life! I'm about to deck this bitch. I don't even care if she's in fucking Ecuador or wherever the fuck she's from.
Hot ghetto chick: Dora the fuckin Explorer better take backpack and Mr Map and head for the fuckin hills, cuz we goin in!

–Harlem

Overheard by: Monique


The Paleness and Hairiness Are Also Compelling Evidence.

Teen boy: How many citizenships can you have? I want to get the Israeli citizenship, but how do I prove it?
Jewish mom: All you have to do is prove that you are Jewish.
Teen boy: How do I prove that?
Jewish mom: I took a picture of your grandma's headstone when I was in Israel, so that should work.

–L Train


Are You Coming on to Me??

Frat friend: Instead of apple and honey, what if I rang in the Jewish new year with pot and whiskey?
Asian friend: Why not an apple martini?

–Whole Foods, Houston St


On the Plus Side, They've Probably Lost Their Jobs by Now.

Girl: So then I put in a ten, and then I tried to change it to a five, but it was too late.
Guy #1, laughing: You just lost Goldman Sachs sixty million dollars! Way to go!
Guy #2: Yeah, when I worked at a hedge fund…

–Hallway, NYU Stern

Overheard by: Non-Banker Student