Archive for 2011

How MacGyver Rose from Nothing.

Partially drunk hobo: We're not hobos, assholes.
Tourist chick: Huh… I'll give you ten bucks, some paper, some string, and some sharpies if you make a sign that says “I'm a hobo.”
Partially drunk hobo: Deal.

–Central Park

Overheard by: me!

…I'm Relaxed! I'm Relaxed, Motherfucker!!

Guy on cell: So he finally gets back to me and says I'm obsessing about it and should just relax. Obsessing about it?! I should just relax?! He has the balls to say that I'm obsessing about this?! Do you believe it?! How can he say I'm obsessing about it and should relax?! Obsessing about it! And I should relax! What the fuck does he mean, obsessing about it?

–6th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Kevin McCaffrey

So… Good?

NYCHA worker #1: How's your friend Eddie?
NYCHA worker #2: I'm gonna kill that motherfucker!

–103rd St & Amsterdam

How Charlie Sheen Meets All His “Angels”

Tall blonde: So I feel asleep on the train last week, and in my sleep curled up in a ball, ya know?
Asian guy: Yeah.
Tall blonde: I woke up to this hobo giving me a leg and foot massage.
Asian guy: What!?
Tall blonde: Yeah! He then asked me were I was heading, and if I'd want to go back home with him. I was like, “no!”

–1 Train

Overheard by: Jem

But I'm Totally Writing About It on My College Application.

Preppy girl #1: I know! Can you believe it? I wish I'd been bitten by a fucking dog!
Preppy girl #2: (laughs)
Preppy girl #1: Yeah, it was pretty tragic. We were like… ten when it happened? I guess I was there. I don't really remember.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Nevin