Archive for 2011

He Sucks; I Bite

Dude: I flirted with her really hard, and she was totally into it.
Girl, flirtatious: Oh, yeah?
Dude: Yeah. Her boyfriend wasn't too happy though.
Girl: Ha! Yeah?
Dude: Yeah. And he's a vampire, but it's cool. Cause I'm a werewolf.

–1 Train

We Aren't Gonna Lie– It's Nice to Know MTA Workers Also Treat Each Other This Way.

MTA rail worker to booth attendant: Miss? Could you open the gate?
Booth attendant: You got to swipe your pass.
MTA rail worker, showing his ID: See this? And the uniform?
Booth attendant, angrily: You got to swipe your pass. We all got to swipe our pass. That's called security. How do I know you're not a terrorist?
MTA rail worker, pointing to ID: Would you just look at this?
Booth attendant, still yelling: We got all these terrorists walking everywhere. How do I know you ain't Al Qaeda?
MTA rail worker: I'm pretty sure Al Qaeda could buy a pass.
Booth attendant: And you could be a terrorist! How could I tell?

–Brooklyn Museum Stop

Props for Keeping That Alive, Sir

Rap artist to female passer-by, trying to hand them his CD: Fo shizzle my nizzle?
Female passer-by: No.
Rap artist: No nizzle?
Female passer-by: No.
Rap artist, calling after her: Foshizzle? (she keeps walking) No nizzle forrizzle?

–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Mariah

Shirley Who?

Guy: I'm kind of retarded.
Girl: Yeah, slowly but surely.

–Borders Books, 59th St

Overheard by: yep.

And Don't Even Get Me Started on the Horse.

Woman in fur coat #1: I'm thinking about downsizing: just one bedroom and one closet, that's all I need.
Woman in fur coat #2: Me too. But the ski clothes, and the golf clubs… they take up so much space!

–76th & Broadway

Overheard by: Upper West Snide

The Day Kyle Nearly Got His Gay Card Revoked.

Camp guy: God, why is that dog everywhere nowadays?
Slightly less camp guy: What, that dog? (pointing to Labrador across the street)
Camp guy: No! Donatella, she's in, like, every magazine!

–Grand St & Mercer St

Overheard by: Johanna

Fetish Porn Has Gotten Very Specific.

Catholic schoolgirl #1, stomping on dead leaves on sidewalk: Look, there's a good one!
Catholic schoolgirl #2, doing same: I love it when they make a big, huge crunch!

–Washington Ave & Lafayette

Overheard by: Morning Glory