Archive for 2011

Strangely, This Was the Least Crappy Day John's Had in Weeks.

Young Hispanic man: Yo, man, you got some bird shit or something on you.
Big white man: Really? Shit, I always get crapped on.
Young Hispanic man: Lemme help you out. (proceeds to scrape bird poo off his coat)
Big white man, a few minutes later: You know what I love about Hispanic people, they care about family. White people have no sense of family!
Young Hispanic man: Yeah, but that's because we're not responsible enough to move out, white people are responsible enough to live on their own.
Big white man: But we have no sense of family! You have sense of family! White people don't care about family! I would know… I'm white! And I live alone and am bored all the time!
(line finally moves forward)
Young Hispanic man
: Nice to meet you!

Big white man: You too! Have a great day!

–Post Office, 180th St

…Without Getting Paid, Like Usual.

Brunette teen: Yeah, I saw that episode of Degrassi when Jimmy tries to fuck his girlfriend.
Blond teen: Fucking Jimmy would be like fucking a dead guy.

–14th St b/w 8th & 9th

Overheard by: musicgurl207

Is That, Like, a Zen Query?

Info booth worker: Where are you going?
Traveler: New Jersey.
Info booth worker: New Jersey is a state. Where are you going?

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

He Sucks; I Bite

Dude: I flirted with her really hard, and she was totally into it.
Girl, flirtatious: Oh, yeah?
Dude: Yeah. Her boyfriend wasn't too happy though.
Girl: Ha! Yeah?
Dude: Yeah. And he's a vampire, but it's cool. Cause I'm a werewolf.

–1 Train

We Aren't Gonna Lie– It's Nice to Know MTA Workers Also Treat Each Other This Way.

MTA rail worker to booth attendant: Miss? Could you open the gate?
Booth attendant: You got to swipe your pass.
MTA rail worker, showing his ID: See this? And the uniform?
Booth attendant, angrily: You got to swipe your pass. We all got to swipe our pass. That's called security. How do I know you're not a terrorist?
MTA rail worker, pointing to ID: Would you just look at this?
Booth attendant, still yelling: We got all these terrorists walking everywhere. How do I know you ain't Al Qaeda?
MTA rail worker: I'm pretty sure Al Qaeda could buy a pass.
Booth attendant: And you could be a terrorist! How could I tell?

–Brooklyn Museum Stop

Props for Keeping That Alive, Sir

Rap artist to female passer-by, trying to hand them his CD: Fo shizzle my nizzle?
Female passer-by: No.
Rap artist: No nizzle?
Female passer-by: No.
Rap artist, calling after her: Foshizzle? (she keeps walking) No nizzle forrizzle?

–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Mariah