Archive for 2011

Strangely, This Was the Least Crappy Day John's Had in Weeks.

Young Hispanic man: Yo, man, you got some bird shit or something on you.
Big white man: Really? Shit, I always get crapped on.
Young Hispanic man: Lemme help you out. (proceeds to scrape bird poo off his coat)
Big white man, a few minutes later: You know what I love about Hispanic people, they care about family. White people have no sense of family!
Young Hispanic man: Yeah, but that's because we're not responsible enough to move out, white people are responsible enough to live on their own.
Big white man: But we have no sense of family! You have sense of family! White people don't care about family! I would know… I'm white! And I live alone and am bored all the time!
(line finally moves forward)
Young Hispanic man
: Nice to meet you!

Big white man: You too! Have a great day!

–Post Office, 180th St


Is That Near Argentina?

College guy in sweater: Do you speak South African?
African guy behind counter: There's no South African. Also, I'm from West Africa.

–E 4th & Ave A

Overheard by: IB


…Without Getting Paid, Like Usual.

Brunette teen: Yeah, I saw that episode of Degrassi when Jimmy tries to fuck his girlfriend.
Blond teen: Fucking Jimmy would be like fucking a dead guy.

–14th St b/w 8th & 9th

Overheard by: musicgurl207


Is That, Like, a Zen Query?

Info booth worker: Where are you going?
Traveler: New Jersey.
Info booth worker: New Jersey is a state. Where are you going?

–Port Authority Bus Terminal