Archive for 2011

Is This a Plug? Discuss.

Man #1: Can you buy me a hotdog? I'm really hungry.
Man #2: Okay.
Man #1: Can you follow me on twitter, @sleepinginjeans?
Man #2: No.

–Times Square


I Find OB/GYNistan Cuisine Both Exciting and Disgusting

Girl: They opened up an Oosbetistan restaurant by my place.
Guy: (blank stare)
Girl: You know, all the “stans”: Oosbetistan, Takaministan, Armenistan… I actually only know a couple of them.

–42nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Renee


Wow, You Really Can Pickle Anything.

Young woman to older man: So, you've found Jesus?
Older man: Well, I never really lost him. I put him away for about twenty years, but I always knew where he was.

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: eejay


Hell Is Other Virtual People

Student #1: We could stop by and say hi to Claire.
Student #2: I'm not saying hi to Claire. I see her every day on Facebook!

–St. John's University, Queens


For You? Five Dollars.

Customer: How much is a six-inch?
Counter guy: What kind of meat?
Customer: You know… regular.
Counter guy: What kind?
Customer: Like, a five dollar foot-long?

–Subway, 103 & Broadway


Not to Worry– It's Just a Baby.

Conductor #1, annoyed at doors opening and closing: Anybody else?
(doors to train finally close and train starts to move)
Conductor #2
: I think you missed one.


–Downtown C Train


I Mean, Look at the Size Of Her!

Four-year-old girl: Mommy, what is that lady doing?
Mom: Her? She loves New York City Restaurant Week.
Four-year-old girl: But why?
Mom: Because she gets great deals on breakfast lunch and dinner all over the city!
Four-year-old girl, thinking it over: Oh.

–M79 Bus Stop

Overheard by: Michael


If You're Going to Kill Me, Now's Good

Customer to cashier: See you tomorrow eh? See you tomorrow morning. See you then, see you tomorrow morning.
Customer leaves, following customer to cashier, chuckling: See you tomorrow! Did they say that enough times?
Cashier, laughing weakly: See you tomorrow… yeah.

–Deli, Chelsea