Archive for 2011

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Big Deal

30-something girl to friend: If I was a betting woman, I'd bet… (pause) Well, I mean I just wouldn't bet. I'm not a betting person.

–77th & Columbus

Angry black woman: I'm blacker than the ace of spades… So play your trump card!

–6 Train

Woman on cell: Well, at least I can't gamble in Manhattan.

–LaGuardia Airport

Kid crossing the street, aggressively to older brother: Don't verbally poker me!

–5th Ave & 58th St

Overheard by: Tracy

Wednesday Feels Trapped in the Body Of a One-Liner

Panhandler, to the tune of Transformers cartoon theme: Transvestites! Homos in disguise!

–1st Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: MPW

20-something to friend: I just got a sex change, but found out they're all faggots. I'm moving back to Europe.

–101 & Broadway

Overheard by: Tai

20-something female to friend: So you see, her dad's a trans-sexual, so…

–Cooper Square

Short gay guy to tall, raving woman on sidewalk: So you're a man? If you're a man, then hit me!

–8th Ave & 24th St

Overheard by: Graceful Space

Wednesday One-Liners Can't Get No Satisfaction (And They Try)

20-something male office worker to female coworker: We haven't had sex yet, and it's been one month. What is this, the 1920s?

–Bryant Park

Man to friend: I don't need a nanny. But if I did, I'd hire a guy that looked like Mr Belvedere. Ain't nobody sexin' Mr Belvedere.

–6 Train

Seventeen-year-old girl to friend: He doesn't believe in premarital sex and he's a teenage boy. I just want to have lots and lots of sex! (pauses) Oh my god, am I grimy? Am I turning into a slut?

–F Train

Overheard by: Grimy?

Middle aged woman: I am not putting out tonight.

–49th & Broadway

Overheard by: Airbags

Wednesdong One-Liners

Angry guy on cell: She has everything up her ass but a cock.

–Broadway & Waverly

Overheard by: Pallavi

Guy on phone: I'm going to remove the flesh from your penis and expose the bone.

–Bedford Ave

20-something girl to friend: Isn't this the best thing you've ever had in your mouth? I mean besides a dick…

–Artichoke Pizza, 14th & 1st

Young man, about new-born son: I have never been so excited to see a penis!

–6 Train

Small teenage girl: Why employ three frogs to do what one penis could accomplish?

–Metropolitan Museum of Art

Wednesday Send People One-Liners Of Their Junk

Young woman on cell: And by "photography," he meant "vagina," right?" (laughs)

–Post Office

Overheard by: Pedro

20-something chick in curlers on cell: No, I ain't be having that. I'll just tell her, 'if you send me any pictures of your son again, you will be receiving a punch in the face.'

–Town Drug Pharmacy

Overheard by: Ladle

Facebooking sorority sister: It's not a good picture of him, but it is a very good picture of me.

–25th & 6th

Overheard by: Shan

Tourist woman to other tourists, pointing at random building: I guess we could take a picture of that?

–Wall Street

Overheard by: Ladle

Who's Afraid Of Wednesday One-Liner?

Young black girl: I hate it when momma tries to scare the white ladies on the train.

–F Train

Bag lady, yelling: Ladies and gentlemen, the 6 train ain't running because I scared the engineer! I said "boo!" and he went "ah!" and the train stopped running."

–6 Train

Overheard by: that explains it

Guy to friends: Do I look like someone who would be afraid to tell you to fuck off?

–Bleecker & Thompson

Overheard by: chang

Drug addict, unprovoked, to meek, bespectacled dude with cello case: You think I'm scared of you?

–Union Square Park