Archive for 2011

Better Than a Dying Giraffe, Am I Right?

11-year-old boy #1: I know I sound like your mother, but don't run with that thing in your mouth.
11-year-old boy #2: You don't. My mother sounds like a dead goose.

–West Village

Save It for Your Next Tea Party Get-together

White-collar cop to massive crowd, through megaphone: Please clear the sidewalk so people can pass! Please clear the church entrance so people can utilize!
Blue-collar cop, under breath: Just shut the fuck up, man.

–Occupy Wall Street

Overheard by: Hunter Freyer

Nobody on Their Deathbed Ever Says, “I Regret Everything!”

Girl on cell: Why can't I just do nothing for a year? There are some people who spend their whole lives doing nothing. (pause) I don't know. People. They just… they just do nothing with their life. There are lots of them. I just want to do it for one year. (pause) Why can't you just be rich? (pause) Well, like Bill Gates rich. Really fucking wealthy. Bill Gates's children don't have to work, after he dies they can just do nothing. (pause) But they could. If they wanted to…

–115th St & Broadway

The Revolution Will Not Be Interior-Decorated!

Suit #1: Honestly, they shouldn't be blaming us if they can't make enough money…
Suit #2: Yeah, but I mean, these tents are so shabby, though, I doubt they can make money for a real house.

–Occupy Wall Street

It's the Economy, Stupid

Hipster #1: I heard she was going to kill herself.
Hipster #2: If you're killing yourself, why not do it in the MoMA?
Hipster #1: Because it's 20 bucks to get in.
Hipster #2: But if you're killing yourself, what's 20 bucks?

–Cooper Union

Overheard by: Jane Lane