Archive for 2011

When Outsourcing Gets Out Of Control.

Very drunk, super-hot blonde, on phone: Like, I don't know… It's this weird thing my boyfriend keeps saying. I don't get it… Wait, let me ask this guy right here… (to 20-something man standing next to her) Would you fuck me with someone else's dick?
Man: What's wrong with my own?
Very drunk, super-hot blonde: Yeah, I know, right!?

–Union Square

Although Having to See Blind People Is Pretty Bad

Girl: I just hate the subway, it's so dirty!
Guy: I know. And today, there were these twelve deaf kids on the subway with me, and I had to listen to them making those annoying noises all the way to 52nd st.
Girl: Oh my god, that's the worst!

–Wagner College Shuttle

Better Than a Dying Giraffe, Am I Right?

11-year-old boy #1: I know I sound like your mother, but don't run with that thing in your mouth.
11-year-old boy #2: You don't. My mother sounds like a dead goose.

–West Village

This Kid Grown Up

Mother: Stop running! Do you want to get hit by a car?
Small boy: Yes! Yaaaay!

–Waverly & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Anna

Save It for Your Next Tea Party Get-together

White-collar cop to massive crowd, through megaphone: Please clear the sidewalk so people can pass! Please clear the church entrance so people can utilize!
Blue-collar cop, under breath: Just shut the fuck up, man.

–Occupy Wall Street

Overheard by: Hunter Freyer