Archive for 2011

You're Every Bit As Pretty As Jim Carrey, Sweetie

Girl to friend: God, look at the moon tonight. It's so bright, like even too bright.
Friend: Yeah, it really is.
Girl: I feel like I'm in The Truman Show. Am I Truman? You would tell, me wouldn't you?

–SoHo

Overheard by: Lisa


I Warned Her Not to Put It in the Dishwasher.

Bar employee holding shopping bag, coming out of bar: Miss! Miss! You forgot your bag!
Girl #1: Oh my god! Thank you!
Girl #2: Thanks for returning her dildo! Her old one broke three days ago and she's been driving everyone crazy!

–2nd Ave & 2nd St

Overheard by: Pedro


…I Fucking Swallowed

20-something girl beaming about a gift: He went to Jared.
20-something friend: He got you a sandwich?
20-something girl, frowning: Girl, why you so damn stupid?

–Downtown C Train