Archive for 2011

Shirley Who?

Guy: I'm kind of retarded.
Girl: Yeah, slowly but surely.

–Borders Books, 59th St

Overheard by: yep.


And Don't Even Get Me Started on the Horse.

Woman in fur coat #1: I'm thinking about downsizing: just one bedroom and one closet, that's all I need.
Woman in fur coat #2: Me too. But the ski clothes, and the golf clubs… they take up so much space!

–76th & Broadway

Overheard by: Upper West Snide


The Day Kyle Nearly Got His Gay Card Revoked.

Camp guy: God, why is that dog everywhere nowadays?
Slightly less camp guy: What, that dog? (pointing to Labrador across the street)
Camp guy: No! Donatella, she's in, like, every magazine!

–Grand St & Mercer St

Overheard by: Johanna


Fetish Porn Has Gotten Very Specific.

Catholic schoolgirl #1, stomping on dead leaves on sidewalk: Look, there's a good one!
Catholic schoolgirl #2, doing same: I love it when they make a big, huge crunch!

–Washington Ave & Lafayette

Overheard by: Morning Glory


Ever See Jacob's Ladder, Suzie?

Man: Are you tripping on acid?
Girl: Yes.
Man: You should not be on the subway.

–F Train


Someone's a Little Ho Ho Ho.

Man: I hope Santa come down your chimney!
Woman: I don't want him to come down a chimney. I want him to walk through the front door so I can get some fuckin head!

–McDonald's, The Village

Overheard by: Sam Williams


There Are So Many Holes in That Plan!

Drunk girl: I want coffee…I'm going here… (begins to stumble into Dunkin' Donuts)
Drunk groups of friends in unison: Noooo. Noooo. Noooo. Noooo. Noooo. Noooo.

–3rd Ave & 33rd St.


That's Cold.

Drunk guy: Whooo! It's cold, ladies!
Not drunk girl: Whoo. You're drunk, mister.

–El Sombrero, Stanton & Essex