Archive for 2011

Props for Keeping That Alive, Sir

Rap artist to female passer-by, trying to hand them his CD: Fo shizzle my nizzle?
Female passer-by: No.
Rap artist: No nizzle?
Female passer-by: No.
Rap artist, calling after her: Foshizzle? (she keeps walking) No nizzle forrizzle?

–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Mariah

Shirley Who?

Guy: I'm kind of retarded.
Girl: Yeah, slowly but surely.

–Borders Books, 59th St

Overheard by: yep.

And Don't Even Get Me Started on the Horse.

Woman in fur coat #1: I'm thinking about downsizing: just one bedroom and one closet, that's all I need.
Woman in fur coat #2: Me too. But the ski clothes, and the golf clubs… they take up so much space!

–76th & Broadway

Overheard by: Upper West Snide

The Day Kyle Nearly Got His Gay Card Revoked.

Camp guy: God, why is that dog everywhere nowadays?
Slightly less camp guy: What, that dog? (pointing to Labrador across the street)
Camp guy: No! Donatella, she's in, like, every magazine!

–Grand St & Mercer St

Overheard by: Johanna

Fetish Porn Has Gotten Very Specific.

Catholic schoolgirl #1, stomping on dead leaves on sidewalk: Look, there's a good one!
Catholic schoolgirl #2, doing same: I love it when they make a big, huge crunch!

–Washington Ave & Lafayette

Overheard by: Morning Glory

There Is No Defense Against Fresh Fruit

Teen to another, playing fruit ninja on phone: Mango! Apple! Lime! Apple! Bomb! Mango! Rare fruit! Rare fruit! Rare fruit!
Woman across. taking apple out of bag and throwing it at screaming teen: Shut the fuck up!

–Uptown 1 Train

Ever See Jacob's Ladder, Suzie?

Man: Are you tripping on acid?
Girl: Yes.
Man: You should not be on the subway.

–F Train

He's, Like, the Opposite Of a Two-Beer Queer

Hood preschooler #1, watching vans filled with cases of empty beer bottles: Wow! That's a lot of bottles!
Hood preschooler #2: I bet I could drink all of that!
Hood preschooler #1: No you couldn't. It's way too much. It's like a hundred bottles!
Hood preschooler #3: I couldn't drink it all, but my daddy could!
Hood preschooler #2: Yeah! So could my daddy! He could also drink it all!
Hood preschooler #1: Yeah!

–187th St & Audubon