Archive for 2011

I Mean, Look at the Size Of Her!

Four-year-old girl: Mommy, what is that lady doing?
Mom: Her? She loves New York City Restaurant Week.
Four-year-old girl: But why?
Mom: Because she gets great deals on breakfast lunch and dinner all over the city!
Four-year-old girl, thinking it over: Oh.

–M79 Bus Stop

Overheard by: Michael

If You're Going to Kill Me, Now's Good

Customer to cashier: See you tomorrow eh? See you tomorrow morning. See you then, see you tomorrow morning.
Customer leaves, following customer to cashier, chuckling: See you tomorrow! Did they say that enough times?
Cashier, laughing weakly: See you tomorrow… yeah.

–Deli, Chelsea

You Can Tell by His Salary

Wife walking beside husband, in emphatic voice: He's a puppy killer!
Husband: Yeah, but he's a great quarterback.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Cayla Summers

…And Why Does He Keep Pronouncing It Wrong??

Drunk college guy #1, looking at phone: What the fuck?! We are nowhere near Houston Street! Houston Street is so far from here!
Drunk college guy #2, grabbing phone from friend: Say what? No way! There's no way we're going there.
Drunk college guy #1: Dude, call him right now and tell him we are not walking all the way to fuckin Houston Street.

–W. 4th St

Overheard by: sternie

Very Well Then, Ma'am. Carry On.

Police officer: You need to move! Let's go!
Girl in uber-slutty costume: But I'm druuuunk…

–Village Halloween Parade

Overheard by: Cailin

They Met through a Matchmaker.

Hipster boy: I chain-smoke when I'm drunk.
Hipster girl: I chain-smoke when I'm awake.

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Bruce Lee