Archive for 2011

Nobody on Their Deathbed Ever Says, “I Regret Everything!”

Girl on cell: Why can't I just do nothing for a year? There are some people who spend their whole lives doing nothing. (pause) I don't know. People. They just… they just do nothing with their life. There are lots of them. I just want to do it for one year. (pause) Why can't you just be rich? (pause) Well, like Bill Gates rich. Really fucking wealthy. Bill Gates's children don't have to work, after he dies they can just do nothing. (pause) But they could. If they wanted to…

–115th St & Broadway


The Revolution Will Not Be Interior-Decorated!

Suit #1: Honestly, they shouldn't be blaming us if they can't make enough money…
Suit #2: Yeah, but I mean, these tents are so shabby, though, I doubt they can make money for a real house.

–Occupy Wall Street


It's the Economy, Stupid

Hipster #1: I heard she was going to kill herself.
Hipster #2: If you're killing yourself, why not do it in the MoMA?
Hipster #1: Because it's 20 bucks to get in.
Hipster #2: But if you're killing yourself, what's 20 bucks?

–Cooper Union

Overheard by: Jane Lane


Sitcoms Get Edgier Every Year

Guy: The idea is, he paints portraits to get over his guilt over being a rapist and murderer.
Girl: That sounds hilarious.
Guy: Yeah.

–Hudson River Park


Dad's Been Retweeting It Ever Since

Stoned teenage girl on her way to school: Ew, my mom texted my dad this morning, like, “will you have sex with me?”
Stoned teenage girl's friend: Ew!

–M72 Crosstown Bus


We're Guessing You Don't Share Those Jeans.

Well-dressed older woman to another, in line for bathroom: I don't know. I don't think this has been Renee Fleming's best; it's actually pretty bad.
Second well-dressed lady: Hush! Someone might hear you!
Well dressed lady: Who would care?
Girl standing behind them in ripped jeans: I do! She's my aunt!

–Metropolitan Opera

Overheard by: OperaBuff3122


Ooooh…!

Construction worker, hitting on woman with UN badge: Hey girl, you like you're from some exotic island.
Woman with UN badge, in thick Brooklyn accent: Yeah, I'm from the exotic island of Coney.

–46th & 1st, across UN

Overheard by: Sarah