Archive for 2011

Sitcoms Get Edgier Every Year

Guy: The idea is, he paints portraits to get over his guilt over being a rapist and murderer.
Girl: That sounds hilarious.
Guy: Yeah.

–Hudson River Park


Dad's Been Retweeting It Ever Since

Stoned teenage girl on her way to school: Ew, my mom texted my dad this morning, like, “will you have sex with me?”
Stoned teenage girl's friend: Ew!

–M72 Crosstown Bus


Ooooh…!

Construction worker, hitting on woman with UN badge: Hey girl, you like you're from some exotic island.
Woman with UN badge, in thick Brooklyn accent: Yeah, I'm from the exotic island of Coney.

–46th & 1st, across UN

Overheard by: Sarah


Took Us a Minute

Girl #1: So I was reading this article on the Hungarian diet the other day…
Girl #2: Does it work?

–Columbia University


…Unmuzzling You

Female bystander: That's such a cute golden retriever, but you should really put a leash on him.
Guy: I take chances, like your first boyfriend did.

–Lefferts Blvd


Nobody Lives Forever, Am I Right?

10-year-old son: Can we have that for dinner? (points to five guys)
Ghetto mom: And pay $11 for a fuckin' hamburger? You must have lost your mind.
10-year-old son: How about McDonald's, then?
Ghetto mom, pausing, thinking: Sure, I'll walk you there. Fuck it.

–110th & Broadway

Overheard by: Special K