Archive for 2011

Sitcoms Get Edgier Every Year

Guy: The idea is, he paints portraits to get over his guilt over being a rapist and murderer.
Girl: That sounds hilarious.
Guy: Yeah.

–Hudson River Park

Dad's Been Retweeting It Ever Since

Stoned teenage girl on her way to school: Ew, my mom texted my dad this morning, like, “will you have sex with me?”
Stoned teenage girl's friend: Ew!

–M72 Crosstown Bus

We're Guessing You Don't Share Those Jeans.

Well-dressed older woman to another, in line for bathroom: I don't know. I don't think this has been Renee Fleming's best; it's actually pretty bad.
Second well-dressed lady: Hush! Someone might hear you!
Well dressed lady: Who would care?
Girl standing behind them in ripped jeans: I do! She's my aunt!

–Metropolitan Opera

Overheard by: OperaBuff3122


Construction worker, hitting on woman with UN badge: Hey girl, you like you're from some exotic island.
Woman with UN badge, in thick Brooklyn accent: Yeah, I'm from the exotic island of Coney.

–46th & 1st, across UN

Overheard by: Sarah

Took Us a Minute

Girl #1: So I was reading this article on the Hungarian diet the other day…
Girl #2: Does it work?

–Columbia University

…Unmuzzling You

Female bystander: That's such a cute golden retriever, but you should really put a leash on him.
Guy: I take chances, like your first boyfriend did.

–Lefferts Blvd