Middle-aged man at the Minneapolis airport: “When Minnesota first got the lotto, they had the scratch-off lottery cards. I waited on line in a corner store, and the clerk asked me if I wanted to buy one and I said, ‘No. I do not play the lottery.’ The person behind me, as I was leaving, bought a ticket and won $1,000. The clerk turned to me and said, ‘See, you should have bought a ticket!’ and I said to her, ‘No, I’m glad I didn’t. Because I don’t play the lottery.’”
Woman waiting on line in Newark airport: “Isn’t it amazing how, whenever you go to a foreign country, you can get such a feel for the country just from the airport? Take New York: you land here, you look out the windows, and the first thing you realize about New York is, ‘aren’t the vehicles here so big!’”
Waitress: How do you want your burgers cooked?
Waitress: Meat is cooked. What color do you want the meat inside to be? Pink, red, brown?
Foreigner: What?! –Jackson Hole, 36th Street
Customer: I rescue cats in the Bronx.
Shopgirl: You know sometimes poor families with children that aren’t taught well don’t know how to treat animals. I wish there was something that could be done about them. You know it’s not fair for the animals if they get placed into a bad home like that. If they don’t have enough money to take care of their children, how are they going to take care of an animal? And they [sic] don’t even treat their children right. –Purty Girl Boutique, Thompson St.
Into an intercom, a drunk girl yells: I know you don’t want to see me, but I’m downstairs! –Avenue A & 3rd Street Overheard by: Sebastian Forsythe
HS Girl: That’s all she talks about. She watches Star Trek, she talks about Star Trek, she gets Star Trek tattoos all over her body.
HS Guy: At least my tattoo is cool. –4 Train Overheard by: Kaitlen
Hippie: What color is your aura?
FIT girl: I think my aura has black and white stripes.
Hippie: Vertical or horizontal?
FIT girl: Horizontal…no, vertical.
Hippie: Is that because vertical stripes make your aura look fat?
FIT girl: Yeah. –26th & 8th Overheard by: Armchair Messiah
Suit: Rock and roll? Rock and roll? What is that?! –43rd & Broadway Overheard by: Kaitlen
Businesschick: Are you still with that girl?
Businessguy: No. She kept trying to get me to go to AA. One night out with me and you’ll see..!
Businesschick: Oh, I’ve seen the aftermath. The stitches, the blood. –Midtown Office
Girl: He comes home from work and immediately drinks about four or five Coronas. I mean, I know he’s Swedish and they look at alcohol differently in Europe, but come on! Four or five all at once? I’m like, hey, isn’t that a little much? –7th Avenue & West 29th Street