Wednesday One-Liners Hope for Conjugal Visits

Trench coat guy on cell: Are they arresting you?

–72nd & West End

Overheard by: orlum

Woman rushing inside: Oh my god! I was almost an eyewitness to something!

–Viacom building, 44th & Broadway

Overheard by: bonster

Man on cell: I’m sorry to bother you, but I really don’t wanna go to jail…

–S 2nd & Bedford Ave

Overheard by: Are All Criminals So Polite?

Guy: That’s so true! He’ll willingly go to jail just for the free sex!

–Union Square Park

Chick toting a baby: Yeah, but I ain’t qualify fo’ that ’cause of all them felonies I got.

–Ridgewood, Queens

Overheard by: Grytsayo

Girls, in Short.

Short girl to taller friend trying on jeans: Who in the world is suppose to fit these? What long legged creature was this made for?
Friend, seeing tall modelesque girl passing by: Well, I guess her?
Short girl: I'm not jealous!
Friend: Yes you are!
Shorter girl: Maybe just a little.

–Barneys New York

Overheard by: Izzy


Wednesday One-Liners (And That's No Joke.)

Exasperated girl: You can't even joke about jumping anymore!

–NYU Palladium Residence Hall

Overheard by: Mickey

Teen girl about friend with butter-phobia: And then we got some on a spoon and started trying to touch her with it and she started screaming! Shit, it was so funny! It sounded like she was getting raped.

–Bx16 Bus

Overheard by: Lillian

Thug on cell: Yo, someone just fell down the subway! I know, right, that shit's funny.

–A Train

Man in hat to friends: Yo, I got a headache… I been laughing at people too hard, man.

–1 Train

Overheard by: usually laughs softly


Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor: We will soon arrive in Penn Station, the happiest place on Earth. Penn Station is next.

–LIRR

Overheard by: MineolaBoy

Boyfriend to girlfriend: Let’s go be happy in front of miserable people!

–49th & 8th

Overheard by: Ashley

Hot chick on cell to girlfriend: I am really happy that she is now dating Greg… I am over him… But I am cuter than her!

–X28 Express Bus to Bensonhurst, Brooklyn

Overheard by: PDG

Middle-aged woman: Listen, I don’t need no husband. You see how happy I am? It’s because I have two cats and a vegetable crisper. I don’t need no freakin’ husband!

–Hair salon, East Village

Overheard by: edensnake

Security guard frowning at metal detector: This is my happy face.

–Empire State Building

Overheard by: rage gage