Things Would Only Heat Up from Here.

Guys doing physics problems: …kinematic equation.
Guy cooking in dorm kitchen: I'm sorry, that was a lot more pungent than I intended it to be.

–Columbia University Dorm


Arbeit Macht Reizend

Mom: What’s the name of that group?
Teen boy: Death Cab for Cutie.
Mom: Death Camp for Cutie?
Teen boy: Death Cab.
Mom: What a horrible name…
Teen boy: This is them playing, do you like it?
Mom: Yeah I love it, but what a horrible name! Death Camp… –60th & Broadway Overheard by: Avital

Still Taking Adolessons

Bimbette #1: I don’t want to grow up. The real world is scary.
Bimbette #2: Yeah… Puberty sucks.
Bimbette #1: Ummm, I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure puberty is done when you’re, like, fifteen. We’re 18 now…
Bimbette #2: Oh. Well, maybe I’m a late bloomer.

–UES

Overheard by: Allie

4 Out of 5 Gays Recommend Sodomy Over Supplements

Queer #1: So where’s Jeff been?
Queer #2: Oh, he isn’t going here anymore. He said he can’t deal with the gay drama and being cruised all the time. He wants to work out around people who are more serious about working out and getting bigger. You know, people who are just more focused on bodybuilding and not chatting and gossiping. So he switched to Equinox.
Queer #1: What is he talking about? There’s no drama here; it’s not even that gay. It’s not 8th avenue!
Queer #2: I think he’s just really commited to his bodybuilding and wants to completely focus on it with no distractions.
Queer #1: I think he needs to lay off the creatine. –14th Street NYSC

Wednesday One-Liners Remember elimiDATE Fondly

Man on cell: Yeah man, she is so not anyone that I would be willing to invest years in… I mean I don't want to have to spend my time actually working on it. I figured, hell, I kind of want to wake up next to someone a couple of days a week, so I might as well hang on through the summer. No, she has no idea…

–Columbus & 62nd St

Grad student: They have this symbiotic relationship in which he does all the eating and she does all the drinking.

–Columbia University

Woman to herself: God, I asked you for a good man; not a fucking joke!

–Spring & Hudson

Overheard by: Oscar Gamble

Firefighter to others: It's not that I have anything against commitment; I just like diversity.

–125th St Fairway

Overheard by: Just Shoppint

Man in shorts to another: I wouldn't date a girl with double vision, period.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Dr No-Eyes

Businesswoman to hobo: If you get back in the dating scene, I'll kill you.

–Houston & Lafayette

Overheard by: Homeless guy must be hung