Archive for January, 2012

…And We Stole It from Denny's.

Thug: Shorty, I think my ma's on the rock again.
Thugette: Why you say that?
Thug: I was eating ma chex yesterday, and I asked her for the spoon and…
Thugette: The spoon, my nigga? Like the spoon for cooking dope?
Thug: Nah, nah. Our spoon.
Thugette: Oh, you mean a spoon.
Thug: Nah, shorty, the spoon. We only got one.

–23rd & 5th


Probably All That Rusticating

Bleached blonde Asian girl: My roommate is from Indiana and told me these stories about people, like this one girl who had to have sex with her stepdad for, like, 12 years.
Date: Oh my god, they are so stupid! I swear, the further away you get from the two oceans the stupider people get.
Bleached blonde Asian girl: I know! Like, if something like happened in New York, you know, you neighbors would hear because all the apartments are attached, not far apart and isolated like it is there. They are so stupid!

–7 Train

Overheard by: Midwest Asian-Girl East Coast Transplant


Either Kind Of Stoned

Short hot topic clad girlfriend: They're back together again?
Tall lanky crust punk boyfriend: Yeah man, they break up and get back together again more than people get stoned in Iraq.

–175th & Ft. Washington Ave.


Ann Coulter: Democrats!

Friend #1, to bartender: We'd like some shots.
Bartender: I can do that. What kind?
Friend #2: Do you do blowjobs or cumshots?
Friend #1: What about abortion shots?
Bartender: Jesus Christ, who are you people?

–Kabin bar


Try a Bigger Pool, Sweetie

Drunk lesbian #1, screaming near crowd of post Pride Parade revelers: Marco!
Drunk lesbian #2: Polo!
Drunk lesbian #1, taking hands off eyes: Dammit! I already know you! I'm trying to meet new people!

–West 12th St. & West 4th St.


Dating in Williamsburg: Encapsulated.

Cute 20-something girl: I've been listening to a lot of Fleetwood Mac recently. I forgot how much I liked them for a while and then they came on when I had my iPod on shuffle mod, and I was like, “oh yeah, these guys rock!”
20-something dude: Fleetwood Mac?
Cute 20-somehting girl: Yeah… The band? Fleetwood Mac.
20-something dude: Oh, I don't know them.
Cute 20-something girl: You've never heard of Fleetwood Mac?!
20-something dude, completely serious, scoffing: No. I really don't bother with anything other than 90s ska punk.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Was unaware that this type of music snobbism existed.