Archive for February, 2012

The Girl Threw Up

Teen guy #1, handing cell phone to his friends: Yo, there's a video of me on YouTube throwing up!
Teen guy #2: Was that the night I got the hickey?
Teen guy #3: No, dude, that was a different night.

–Q55 Bus, Ridgewood

Overheard by: sohopixie


Translation: Forget You and Your Drunk Ass

20-something girl: I had to ask the question, 'could I be with someone who has two dirty martinis and three glasses of wine on a Tuesday evening?' (long pause).
Friend: I think I need to go out with someone older.
20-something girl: Well, they've got to be out there… I wonder if they're any books on this – I mean, you could go online…
Friend: I should put you in contact with my friend, he's a sweetie. He'd be a great mentor… I mean, he cries a lot, but he's a sweetie.

–Park Bench, W12th & 8th

Overheard by: Corey Birtles


Dog: Ask My Probation Officer, Here

Older vet in camo jacket, walking little white dog, to cop: Whad'ya doin, meditatin' ?
Cop, leaning on wall, opening eyes: Oh, um I just got off-a lunch. (pointing at dog) What's your excuse?

–26th & 7th

Overheard by: rick


I Called His House and Woke Up His Wife

Girl #1: So what happened with him?
Girl #2: Girl, you can touch my hand, you can touch my face… But callin my house ?
Girl #1: That's harassment.
Girl #2 : My house, girl! That's stalking!

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Steve


…Why, Wanna Give It a Whirl?

Buster Poindexter dude: I hate bad sex. There are all kinds of bad sex. Boring sex… and uncontrollable crying sex.
Girl on fourth date: You've had someone cry uncontrollably on you during sex?
Buster Poindexter dude: Oh, yeah! A ton of times.

–Brandy Library

Overheard by: Adrian


Translation: You're Cute

Girl: Where are you from?
Boy: I'm from Staten Island.
Girl: Oh…
Boy: But I come to Brooklyn and Manhattan a lot.
Girl: Oh, where in Brookyln? I go to school there!

–Upper East Side

Overheard by: Melissa


But That's a Republican Primary for You

Disheveled man to two other disheveled men: So he used to grab people like this (demonstrates) and put a needle up to their neck and say “I got Aids and if you don't gimme your money right now, I'm gonna stick you with my blood.”
Disheveled man #2: That's messed up!
Disheveled man #1: Yeah, so my buddies and I let him rob this one woman like that, and then we beat him up and took the money. $300!
Disheveled man #3: No shit?
Disheveled man #1: Yeah, we kicked the living shit out of him 'cause we knew he didn't have Aids. And I mean the living shit. We were knocking his head against the curb and when he got up his jaw was all hanging down. But what he was doing was wrong.

–6th Ave & 20th St

Overheard by: Toby