Archive for February, 2012

Dog: Ask My Probation Officer, Here

Older vet in camo jacket, walking little white dog, to cop: Whad'ya doin, meditatin' ?
Cop, leaning on wall, opening eyes: Oh, um I just got off-a lunch. (pointing at dog) What's your excuse?

–26th & 7th

Overheard by: rick

I Called His House and Woke Up His Wife

Girl #1: So what happened with him?
Girl #2: Girl, you can touch my hand, you can touch my face… But callin my house ?
Girl #1: That's harassment.
Girl #2 : My house, girl! That's stalking!

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Steve

…Why, Wanna Give It a Whirl?

Buster Poindexter dude: I hate bad sex. There are all kinds of bad sex. Boring sex… and uncontrollable crying sex.
Girl on fourth date: You've had someone cry uncontrollably on you during sex?
Buster Poindexter dude: Oh, yeah! A ton of times.

–Brandy Library

Overheard by: Adrian

Translation: You're Cute

Girl: Where are you from?
Boy: I'm from Staten Island.
Girl: Oh…
Boy: But I come to Brooklyn and Manhattan a lot.
Girl: Oh, where in Brookyln? I go to school there!

–Upper East Side

Overheard by: Melissa

But That's a Republican Primary for You

Disheveled man to two other disheveled men: So he used to grab people like this (demonstrates) and put a needle up to their neck and say “I got Aids and if you don't gimme your money right now, I'm gonna stick you with my blood.”
Disheveled man #2: That's messed up!
Disheveled man #1: Yeah, so my buddies and I let him rob this one woman like that, and then we beat him up and took the money. $300!
Disheveled man #3: No shit?
Disheveled man #1: Yeah, we kicked the living shit out of him 'cause we knew he didn't have Aids. And I mean the living shit. We were knocking his head against the curb and when he got up his jaw was all hanging down. But what he was doing was wrong.

–6th Ave & 20th St

Overheard by: Toby

New York Boasts a Vibrant Elmosexual Community

Construction worker #1: Hey yo, know where I'm going tomorrow?
Construction worker #2: Nope!
Construction worker #1, with pride: Sesame Street, live!
Construction worker #2: Yo, where at?

–46th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Juan Chung

Manhattan Courtship Rituals Truly Are a Rich Tapestry.

Crazy woman, laughing hysterically, to man with her, while pointing at hobo walking behind: Hey, he's a mangina!
Hobo, picking up pace, following her: You wanna see what a mangina looks like?! I'll show you what mangina looks like!

–Union Square