Archive for March, 2012

The Unkindest Cutlet Of All

Dude trying to buy a deli sandwich: Yo, that chicken cutlet… Is that chicken or fish?
Deli guy: It's beef.
(really long pause)
Dude
: Is it chicken or fish?

Deli guy: What are smoking, man? What kind of question is that? It's a chicken cutlet.
(another long pause)
Dude
: Nah, for real. Is it chicken?

Deli guy: Yeah! It's chicken!
Dude: So, how come it looks like fish?
Deli guy: Because chickens lay eggs… And fish also lay eggs.
Dude: Alright.
(long pause, then dude looks for someone else in the back)
Dude
: What happened to my friend who works here?


–Broadway & 204th St


…Ashhole

Boyfriend: What's with all the crap on some people's foreheads?
Girlfriend, somewhat unsurprised: It's Ash Wednesday.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: K.


Sneezing

Teenage boy: I hope you sneeze.
Teenage girl: I hope you die.

–Downtown A Train


A Hobo Told Me!

Seven-year-old girl pointing at tracks: See, that's the first rail, and then that's the second rail, and then it's the third rail. That one is electrified and if you touch it, you will die.
Shocked mother: How do you know that?

–34th St Herald Square Subway Platform


Rip Van Winkle Was Astonished to Hear It

Chick-Fil-A employee: 's up, homes?
African-American student: Did you just call me 'homes'?
Chick-Fil-A employee: (looks perplexed)
African-American student: Sorry, that's just not my life… It's 2012, man!

–NYU Chick-Fil-A

Overheard by: waaaat


…To Their Slaves

Male student: I mean, what if the South had won the civil war? Do you think things would be different?
Female student: Two countries sharing one continent? Yeah. Some things would have to be different.
Male student: But, like, what, though?
Female student: I don't know. Nothing major probably. They'd still be speaking English.

–Barnes & Noble, Union Square


Anybody Ask You for Feedback, Kid?

Park Avenue mom: You are so bad with your brother's things!
Six-year-old boy: It's true, I can't deny it.
Park Avenue mom: And you didn't even take out your homework! You are driving me insane!
Six-year-old boy: That one wasn't good, mommy.

–77th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Jeremy lin is invading our homes…


No Spicy Tuna Roll for You!

Girl #1: Wanna taste the most delicious thing ever?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Fine, I didn't want you to taste it anyway.

–Chelsea