Archive for April, 2012

Somebody Just Got a Magic 8-Ball

Musician #1: It ain't gonna rain.
Musician #2: Yes it is.
Musician #1: Nah, it ain't gonna rain.
Musician #2, dumbfounded: It's raining right now!
Musician #1, after a pause: Nah, it ain't gonna rain.

–Bleecker St


Given the Price Of Cigarettes

Guy #1: I'm living off apples, cigarettes, and granola bars! I'm living the grind!
Guy #2: You're living the cry, not the grind.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Donna


Hence the Spots?

Young woman to man playing guitar: Hey, I didn't know you play here.
Man playing guitar: I go where the sun takes me.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Kara


Or Did You Mean the Musical?

Tourist #1: Excuse me, do you know where 42nd street is?
Tourist #2: Between 41st and 43rd, I think.

–40th St & Broadway


Just When You Think Your Walk Of Shame Can't Get Any Worse

Girl: I'll have a grande skim latte, please.
Counter guy: What size do you want? Grande? Like, “large” in Spanish?
Girl: Oh, um, no I want a small. No! A medium. Sorry, I can't talk today. (looks down at hand) And I'm trying to pay with my student ID.

–Dunkin' Donuts, The Bronx


Little May Bee Had a Rough Childhood.

Toddler: Maybe go upstairs? Maybe go upstairs?
Dad: Don't start sentences with “maybe.” where are you getting this “maybe” from?
Toddler: Maybe go upstairs?
Dad: Don't say “maybe”! Be definitive.

–Columbia University


Poor Tyler Perry

Black girl: You're corny!
Black guy: I'm corny? Whatcha mean? You know I got no game.
Black girl: That's why you're corny!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Mila


Do You Spit or Swallow, Sir?

Man at counter: I *love* this shit! (slaps trident vitality Vigorate gum down on counter).
Cashiers: (giggle)
Man at counter: The flavor only lasts like, two seconds, but… I just think it's tasty.

–Duane Reade