Archive for April, 2012

The Olsen Twins' Reality Show Was Short-lived.

Drunk girl #1: Wait, I think I ate all my gum. Do you have any gum?
Drunk girl #2: Wait, you ate it? Like, you swallowed it?
Drunk girl #1: No, but I love cigarettes?

–3rd St & Mercer

Overheard by: subwaybums

…Like Daycare!

Four-year-old girl to mom: It smells like weed on this bus?
Mom: What?
Four-year-old girl: It smells like weed on this bus!
(mom ignores her)

–S46 Bus, Staten Island

Overheard by: Expecting a child

God Bless the USA

Nanny to little boy: So Matty, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Little boy: I want to be an astronaut, a pizza man, and sit on a bar stool like my daddy.

–Tin Tin's Laundromat

Typical New York Minute

Creeper to redhaired girl: Excuse me, do you have the time?
Reading redhead: 7:11.
Creeper: Like the store!
Redhead: Exactly.
Creeper: Will you go out with me?
Redhead: Um no, I'm good.
(a moment later)
: I'm sorry, I have a medical condition that causes me to forget things. What time did you say it was?

Redhead. It's now 7:12.
Creeper: 7:12! A minute later. Is a minute still 60 seconds? Are you sure you don't wanna go out with me?
Redhead: No.
Creeper: Typical New Yorker.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Faith

…It's Just That They Look Like Welding Goggles

Girl #1: Are those sunglasses?
Girl #2: It's sunny outside! You can wear sunglasses any time of the year, so long as the sun is out! Especially if you're like me and you have sensitive eyes!
Girl #1: Okay…


*They Kiss*

Man: You smell like the l train.
Woman: You smell like craigslist.
Man: You smell like Wal-Mart.
Woman: That's stupid.

–L Train

Your Editors Are Still Confused

Professor: Do you guys know about the homunculus? I'm getting old school!
Student: Are you talking about the homunculus in your brain?
Professor: No, I'm talking about the homunculus from mythology.
Student: Oh… Nevermind.