Archive for May, 2012

Wednesday 1492-Liners

20-something girl to friend: Who is Andrew Jackson and why is there a bloody musical about him? –45th & Broadway Overheard by: Meredith 40-something suit on cell: I vaguely remember who won World War II. –14th St & 1st Ave 20-something dude, talking to couple: I'm not sure if I want to go out with her. She has the kind of STDs that Ben Franklin had. –Brooklyn Overheard by: Ducky Early Modern Europe professor: Atheism during the renaissance in France was much like modern day marijuana use in America. You could get in trouble for it, but most likely won't. –Hunter College Overheard by: Nessya

Say Whaaa???day One-Liners

Australian tourist: You're so jellin' that I'm so ballah, and I'm so ballah that I'm heaps cool berries. –4th Ave & 61st St Overheard by: American Slang at it's finest Angry suit on cell: I can sue you for defecation of character! –Midtown Overheard by: Joseph Firine Teen on cell: To is or not to is, yoh? To is or not to is? What'z it gonna be, my n'ger? –Union Square Adamant teen to another: It's pretty straightforward: it's a 'win, loose' situation! –Macy's, 34st & Broadway Overheard by: Isis 20-something to friend: She says she does what she pleases. "Pleases" ain't even a fuckin word! –The Bronx Overheard by: Mollie

Little Shop Of Wednesday One-Liners

Guy to another, in line of men waiting for their wives: The amount of commerce that takes place in this store is unbelievable. –J Crew, SoHo Overheard by: jangbang Ghetto tween to friends: Yo, I want a girl that look like she just come out of Urban Outfitters… Dude, that's my dream girl. –The Bronx Overheard by: wink Obnoxious student: I don't have time to go to Old Navy and buy myself a t-shirt! –NYU Mother to child in the check-out line: If your father asks, this was on sale. –Toys R Us, Times Square Overheard by: Emily G.

Wednesday Isn't Street or Book One-Liner

Naked guy to fellow naked guy, about boss: He's so dumb! Why won't natural selection just step in and make him walk in front of a bus? –Wall Street New York Sports Club Irate black man on cell: I love you, but you're fuckin stupid. –32nd & 7th Overheard by: erkala Guy: She's really intelligent, but also really stupid. –St. Mark's Place Guy: People see me in a nursing uniform and they expect me to help. But I have a philosophy: stupid people deserve to die. –Astor Place

The Difference Between Boys and Girls, Bottled

Girl, carrying a few bottles of water: I'm just getting kind of sick of tap water.
Boyfriend: Uhh, sick of tap water?
Girl: Shut-up! –Westerly Natural Market Overheard by: Sophia P.

No One Else Has Problems Like We Do!

Guy in suit #1: You know what you do?
Guy in suit #2: What?
Guy in suit #1: You say 'fuck it' and go live in The Hamptons… –Central Park, by Baseball Fields

Nah, Stolen

Guy eating pizza: Its hottt!
Girl: Temperature hot or spicy hot? –29th & 7th Ave

Now Where Do Crackheads Figure Into This Schema?

Girl: I think I'm going to be a lumberjack tomorrow.
Friend: But then how will we tell you apart from the hipsters? I mean really, what's the difference between a lumberjack and a hipster?
Girl: One of them has a job. –Citi Field

Or, You Know, Wherever

Guy, watching the Discovery shuttle making final flight: What's that? Two planes together?
Friend: The top one is the Challenger that went to the moon. –Queens

Sorry– I'll Switch to Decaf

Employee #1: Allllllll niiiiiiiight loooooong. I'm gonna give it to ya, give it to ya, give it to ya, give it to ya…
Employee #2: Yo, shut up. This ain't no Puerto Rican idol. –Starbucks