Archive for August, 2012

Although “Catnip Highway” Has a Nice Ring to It

Female museum employee: Catnip?
Male museum employee: Yeah, catnip. It's a plant.
Female museum employee: Oh, yeah, I knew that. Just that it sounded like a snack.
Male museum employee: Yeah, right… like in “Look, a Hershey's catnip”, huh?

–The Met

Overheard by: George Carstocea


Depends Where You Kiss 'em, Father

20-something woman: To be honest, I have kissed so many people, I am surprised I don't have herpes.

–Fordham University

Overheard by: Ty


Facebook Style

Young thug kid #1: Yo, I ain't playing with you, son. I'm serious, you gonna get it!
Young thug kid #2: Nah, son. Chill, I ain't snitch on him, son. Ask Urie, he knows him better.
Urie: Nah, nigga, don't put me in this shit, nigga… but he gonna get poked.

–39th St & 47th


I'm Manic and She's Depressed

Wife to front desk nurse, pointing to man: Me and him, we're made for each other.
Husband: Yeah, because we're both a mess.

–Neurologist Office, Brooklyn


What? Too Late?

Guy hitting on woman: So where are you from?
Obviously Chinese woman: China.
Guy: Get ready for those Olympics!

–1 Train

Overheard by: LSB


Common Sense, Butchered

Girl #1 at butcher's: Did you know that Kobe beef is named after the famous baseball player?
Girl #2: Get out! Really? (pause) It's so cool being famous…
Butcher: Kobe Bryant is not a baseball player, and no, it's not named after him. (he explains Kobe beef)
Girl #1: Are you sure? I think you're wrong. The baseball player spells his name the same way.

–Staten Island, New York


You Won't Be Breathing Forever, Either

Older man in baseball cap to friend: I gotta find me a girl, I don't wanna still be getting into trouble when I'm sixty.
Friend: Yeah.
Older man in baseball cap: Cause I ain't gonna be a junkie forever.

–Brooklyn