Archive for August, 2012

Sounds Like a Lose/Lose

Guy #1, running from next subway car: Hold it, hold it! I wanna stop the train! Fuckin bitch, she's looking for trouble.
Guy #2: If he stops this train he's looking for trouble!

–6 Train

Overheard by: S. Donicce


Con Fusion Cuisine

Man: What kind of food is Asian fusion?
Girl: We serve Japanese and Malaysian cuisine.
Man: So, like Chinese food?
Girl: No, Japanese and Malaysian food.
Man: Is Malaysia in Japan?
Girl: No, they're separate countries.
Man: What do they speak? Chinese?
Girl: No, they have their own languages.
Man: So what's the food like?
Girl: Here's the menu.
Man: What is this, sushi?
Girl: We have sushi and various cooked dishes, like curries.
Man: Do you have fried rice?
Girl: No.
Man: Oh. I want Chinese food. God bless! (leaves)

–Asian Fusion Restaurant, Bay Ridge


…May Have Just Undermined My Own Business Model

Guy: Man, I have to shake your hand. I want to read your book! It's amazing! (stretches out hand)
Matthew Lesko: Thank you. You can find it in the library!

–Starbucks, 32nd & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Georgia


Ugh, No Vagina Talk During Dinner

Gay Guy: Hi! You look look like a banana.
Girl in yellow: That's funny. I feel like a banana split.

–4th & Mercer

Overheard by: josephmcelroy


She's No GILF, Either

Camp counselor: So, Sarah, what are you doing tonight?
Five-year-old Sarah, who sounds like she has emphysema: My parents aren't home tonight.
Camp counselor: Sounds like a party.
Five-year-old Sarah: Yeah, party with grandma.

–Central Park

Overheard by: LSB


Ad: New York– Where Oklahoma Meets Canadia!

Guy: So I was hanging out with my cousin and his friends and they're, like, from Oklahoma and Canada, and we're all hanging out. It's around two am. One guy goes, “I think I'll go take a walk” so I told him, “I don't think you should.” It's just not a good idea for someone to take a walk at two am their first time in the city, y'know?
Friend: Yeah… They could get lost.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl


Oh There Are a Lot Of Oxymorons in Jersey.

Girl #1, looking at ad: I can't believe there's a new show called Jersey Couture.
Girl #2: Ew!
Girl #1: The biggest oxymoron I've ever heard.

–14th St

Overheard by: anonymous