Archive for August, 2012

Wednesday XXLiners

20-something metrosexual to another: "Cankles" are calf-ankles and "fankles" are fat ankles. Regardless, you wouldn't want either.

–67th St & Lexington Avenue

Overheard by: E.S.

Girl in hallway: That's the I-look-too-fat-to-wear-anything-else outfit.

–NYU

Overheard by: Alex

Hipster to friend: I'm resting it on my fat roll!

–Upper East Side

Girl on cell: What I don't understand is: dad is 300 pounds overweight, so why the fuck do we need food stamps?

–Chinatown


Just When I Thought History Class Had Gotten Fun!

Boy #1: Since when does LBJ stand for “Lyndon B Johnson”?
Boy #2: (blank expression)
Boy #1: I googled LBJ and the first link was Lyndon B Johnson, and the guy has nothing to do with basketball!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Freedom


Might It Be Possible to Purchase Some?

Man: I don't think they got no empanadas. I don't see no empanadas on the menu.
Young daughter: They doooo.
Man: Alright, ask them.
Young daughter: Do you have empanadas?
Empanada stand guy: Uh… Yeah?

–Mamma's Empanadas


Harry Potthead

Guy #1: I should get a wizard hat! Do they sell those?
Guy #2: Dude, that would be awesome!

–Thompson St

Overheard by: DantePulaski


Aww, That's So Sweet!

Gay dude #1: I think if someone writes “nice guy here” in the “about me” section of his profile it really means “will rape and cut you up in bits”. I could be wrong.
Gay dude #2: Yeah, I can't prove it scientifically but that has been my experience. Every time I've been raped and cut up it was by a “nice guy”.

–East 6th & 3rd Ave


Dude, You Are Such a Rollergirl

Skater #1: But wait, that's not right. Your birthday is february 2nd.
Skater #2: That's what you'd think, my friend… and you'd be right.

–Astor Place

Overheard by: hjfreyer


Too Soon? (Answer: YES.)

Suit #1: Have you seen The Dark Knight Rises yet?
Suit #2: No. It's too early to see it. It's too damn crowded right now.
Suit #1: Dude, you have got to see it!
Suit #2: I will see it. I'm just waiting for the crowds to die down–then I'll give it a shot.
Suit #1: You'd better shut up dude, you might get arrested!

–Water St

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer